I’ve been putting some of my time and coding skills into doing a few little things for a TTC group I’m in at FF. There are many buddy groups, I’ve come and gone from several, but there’s a group for girls born in 1982 and for some reason we seen to be closer than the “hey, yeah me too” types. The group keeps growing – people come and go, whether because of pregnancy or taking a break or just drifting off, but it seems we have more coming than going right now. So I made up a little chart with our names and DHs and how many kids we have and how long we’ve been trying and what kind of treatments we’re going through. Basically I first did it because I was having trouble keeping people straight, but I find I’m enjoying building more of a mini-community feeling for this group. And this morning I finally realized why: it’s giving me a secret-club feeling like a due date group would be. The longer we go the more I feel “left out” – but in bonding with other TTC’ers with a common theme we can build our own little group.

As you can tell, I love to organize, I love to gather people up into little groups and give them jobs and a purpose and make it all official and pretty-like. I’ve done it for many years with other websites, other hobbies, other communities. I guess I have that leader attitude inside of me.

On another note…

For the past several months I’ve been very careful to avoid referring to myself as infertile or dealing with infertility. I’d say researching infertility, later possibly dealing with infertility, knowing others who deal with infertility – etc. I was not infertile. Well not technically, not for sure. And I didn’t want to make it sound like I was masquerading.

Just now I was typing a post response to just something random someone had said and I said something like, “and now dealing with infertility.” And it sounded so strange. There’s a part of me that wants to go, “No, no, no. We’re not infertile. It’s not how it sounds.” But then the other side of me says, “Crap.” (Okay, so that side’s not all that eloquent.) And as much as I thought I was prepared and ready to take it in stride it was a shocking moment to fit that label to myself. No wonder so many people don’t want to face it right away – it’s a hard pill to swallow.

Relaxing Doesn’t Make Babies… my journey in TTC – and now infertility.