My little secret
For the first time in quite some time Kate is in bed, Den has gone to bed, Kate has not woken back up again (yet), and I have some honest free time – no homework, no phone calls, no chores. (Well, there are always more chores, but nothing I have to desperately get done right this second.) As I said goodnight to Denis I said, “I have no idea what I’m going to do with my time, but I know it will be relaxing. And it will involve Cheerios.” Apparently this pregnancy favors cheerios.
This pregnancy is also starting to favor nausea. It comes and goes, but it’s sticking around a bit more, making me want to throw up. I’m also getting heartburn some nights, which is bizarre because the only time I have ever had heartburn was in the third trimester with Kate (that I can remember, at least). My stomach just feels all gassy and gurgly and I feel a lot of pressure at the top of my stomach. I need to burp a lot, and that leads to gagging. Today as I was just hanging over the toilet just in case Kate helpfully ran up to me and burrowed her head under my arm so that she could see into the toilet, too. She grinned at me and giggled, like this was some new fun game. I told her just not to throw anything in. Yeah, morning sickness is going to get really interesting with a toddler around.
We haven’t told family and local people yet, mostly because I’m still not really comfortable dealing with the over-optimistic nothing-will-go-wrong congratulations that most people will give. But it does make for a bit of a situation. If I do lose this pregnancy what am I going to do, pretend it never happened? Never mention it? Not tell people why I’m so upset? That’s not my way. And it would feel weird to just be all, “Oh yeah, you didn’t know I was pregnant, but I was and now I’m not.” Though I think that is the more likely for me. Hopefully soon I might be able to get another little ultrasound just to confirm that there is in fact a baby in there (they could see on a sac last week, I was too early to see anything else). Then hopefully I’ll feel comfortable enough to share the news and celebrate a little bit.
Plus, you know, if I start puking at every family function someone’s going to figure out that something’s up.
I know that a lot of people wait until the second trimestre to tell, just in case something wrong happens. I did that, and it went wrong, and it made the entire explanation of why I am sad, sobby, red and puffy eyed, all the worst. I felt awful, and having to tell people that yes I was pregnant but no, I wasn’t anymore was beyond awful; especially since you won’t believe just how many idiots are out there and they just don’t know when to stop with the moronic questions and the mind numbing ad-, sorry, assvice, and so on. I know you know precisely how many there are, but this is how the saying goes.
So yeah, having done that once, I am not advising anyone to do that. But of course, you have to do what is best for you.
My midwife recommended papaya enzymes for heartburn and general indigestion. You can get them in a chewable tablet at Whole Foods (and probably a bunch of other places). Hope that helps!
I agree with the papaya enzymes! You can swallow them like pills or chew them – they’re sweet and tasty. Or papaya juice, at Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s and even some regular grocery stores. :)
I waited to tell, and when I had my m/c’s I always told after it happened. yes, it was awkward and they probably thought I was crazy. But it was too sad to not let people know what we had experienced. Some people are insensitive and others dismissive. I wanted for it to be real to others, not just me. As I look back now, it is almost easier to tell and then if something goes wrong, explain that too. Good luck with whatever your choice. Perhaps after the heartbeat you may feel more comfortable telling.
I craved Cheerios in this pregnancy (my 3rd) and had heartburn really early in this one too. Along with the gagging. I couldn’t take regular prenatals at all…I had to do the chewable kind. I would just gag on the horse pill regular ones.
Holy crap. Wow, I haven’t checked your blog in ages and randomly did tonight and saw the words “this pregnancy” And with your history I thought “wait, they did another cycle??”
Holy crap. I’m SO FREAKING excited for you!! Lots and lots of thoughts and prayers and positive vibes and anything else I can throw at you that this is the most uneventful pregnancy in the history of mankind. AH! wow.
Wow! Sweet, I just popped by for a minute to see how you were and here I find your great news! Kate will be a great big sister. Are you going to find out the sex this time? I am so sorry you have been so sick. I was that way with my second and it was totally different than my first. So I was convinced I was having a boy and low and behold I found out it was another girl. I am loving them being two years apart. They are wonderful sisters…most days. Sometimes we have issues with our older one not wanting to share her older toys. Because SHE WAS HERE FIRST! Be ready for that one, it will come, I promise you. I hope and pray for you that you will have a fabulous outcome with this pregnancy and you can tell your family and friends soon and celebrate. Hopefully once you get out of the first trimester the sickness will cease. God bless you and your family and the Alien too. LOL!
Chris Bresnan