In college I lived at home and drove 45 minutes each way every day. I took night classes and my drive home in the dark was always so peaceful and quiet on the road. It was a time for reflection and introspection.

Before I started college I had a deal with my dad, he was going to buy me a car. It wasn’t going to be a new car, or an expensive car, or a fancy car, just something small with four doors that I could get to school and back. He ended up getting a free car from a friend of his that had been sitting unused. It was free because it was an ’83 Plymouth Reliant K-Car and no one in their right minds would buy such a thing. I was at the same time excited to actually have my very own car – it was even blue, and had four doors! – and somewhat put off that it was kind of a piece of shit. I mean, you could almost see the ground through the passenger side floor. The windshield wipers had two modes: fully on, and “random,” during which the intervals varied from half a second to 30 seconds between swishes. On one memorable occassion, while driving down the freeway on my way to school, the muffler fell out of the bottom of the car. One strap still tethered it to the car so it dragged along behind me, sparks flying.

My dad insisted k-cars got great gas mileage and didn’t believe me when I told him how much I was spending on gas. (Until I moved away and he started driving it. He told me one day, with much shock, that there was something terribly wrong with the car, it was eating gas like crazy. Yeah, thanks!) It had only 4 cylinders, and they must have been a very small 4 because, despite being a very light car, it accelerated like a loaded semi-truck. The freeway entrance by my college had a notoriously short merge distance. I can’t tell you the number of times I came around the bend, put my foot all the way to the floor, and then yelled at the other vehicles to please not plow into my trunk. Extra fun when it is in fact a semi-truck barreling up behind you.

Despite all its shortcomings I was sad when I left it behind. I went from a piece of crap car to no car at all, spending several years here sharing one vehicle with Den. Now we have two vehicles and what I drive is a very respectable 2002 SUV, but I do still remember fondly that Reliant. It’s funny how time changes things. I think back at how angry I was then to be stuck with that vehicle, but now I laugh fondly and think of it as a kind of right of passage, just like my dad told me all those years ago. I definitely have much appreciation now for windshield wipers that work properly and vehicle parts that don’t randomly fall off.

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I like driving my car. It’s not so much the driving or even the car as it is the music and sunshine and lack of other demands.

I try to get out with Kate somewhere once a day. She’s a great little passenger now, which I appreciate even more having lived through her very rocky first few months where she was either sleeping or screaming in the car. Every time I look in the rearview mirror (and the mirror on the headrest of the backseat) to catch sight of her just hanging out in her carseat, looking out the window and playing with her sandals, I get all kinds of proud. I turn up my music and sing along. Now there’s two in the car, like there is supposed to be.

It feels like such an iconic thing to me, the car seat in the back. Many years I drove around looking at where the car seat should be – and wasn’t. Now it’s always there, large and lively, announcing my parenthood to the world. And every time I open up the back door to get Kate and am greeted with a big toothy smile all I want to do is pull her out of the seat and cover her with kisses. And you know, sometimes I do.