Today found me sitting on the toilet, empty toilet paper roll beside me, scouting the room for a spare. I saw one on the far side of the bathroom. I almost always have a little bathroom spotter with me at all times now – I’ll say that I don’t mind the audience while I use the potty, it’s more the ice cold toddler hands gripping my thigh as I sit on the toilet that is unwelcome. So today as I surveyed the situation I looked at my little tagalong and figured I’d try teaching her a little fetch.

I pulled her close and stretched out my hand, “Look Kate! See the toilet paper! See it? Go get it!”

My some miracle she actually saw it and walked right over to it, the first time she’s ever seemed to understand the concept of pointing. I thought to myself, this is actually going to work!

But before I could start cackling Kate sat down before the toilet paper roll and started ripping little chunks off it. “Kate, come here! Kaatttteeee! Come to mommy! Bring it!” She looked at me with tired eyes and resumed poking the toilet paper roll.

Oh well, we’re halfway there.

::

Back when I bought my car I was pregnant with Devin and preparing to take care of a baby. We realized we needed a second vehicle; up until that point we were a one-vehicle family (now that I look back, I have no idea how we did that… though I didn’t leave the house much). It was only a year younger than our SUV, but had been driven a lot harder before we got it, had 101k miles on it. It wasn’t in bad shape, but it was well-used. I spent only $3500 on it. I picked it out myself with little to no input from Den, not because he didn’t care but because it was to be my car, the first vehicle I would ever have gone and bought by myself – in college I had a very old car that was given to me (an ’83 Plymouth Reliant k-car), and the SUV was purchased by Den with input from me before we got married. It wasn’t a perfect car, but it was mine.

2 1/2 years later I was pregnant with Kate, it was almost paid off, and we were realizing that logistically I ought to have the SUV, Denis the car for commuting. We swapped vehicles. I resisted the idea at first, mostly because I simply hate change and am very possessive of things, but the SUV works great for me. Mostly I felt bad for Den because he never really liked my car to start with and now it’s his vehicle! But it gets good mileage and it’s good enough.

Well that poor car has been slowly falling apart. We got the tires replaced last year, which we knew we needed to do and kept putting off. The antenna has never worked quite right so all music is at least a little fuzzy. I forget what else, but there have been many little things. Last week the check engine line came on and we stared at it with a sinking feeling. It’s never a good sign in a good car; in that car it could very likely be signaling the end. We have yet to take it in to get checked out, but Den reported that it was accelerating without help the other day. That’s, uhh, bad. We’ve had the, “How much money are we willing to put into this car?” discussion. We still don’t know an exact figure, but whatever the repair estimate is will hopefully tell us one way or another.

It’s clear that sooner rather than later we will be purchasing a new car. This time we’ll be getting a new or almost-new vehicle, the thought of which makes me excited, even though it won’t be a vehicle that I drive very often, if at all.

Not so excited about the payments, though.

::

Kate is teething hard and now has a yucky sounding cough…. since Den is sick I’m betting she’s getting what he has. Which means I’ll have it shortly. Bugger! Last night she just wouldn’t stay asleep for more than half an hour… we tried bringing her into our bed but again that was a massive FAIL. :( Apparently once she moved out that’s it, she can’t move back in. I did finally get her settled and asleep in her crib for a few hours, with me staying beside her on the futon. When she woke up in the middle of the night I brought her onto the futon with me. She’s just so sad. She’s been nursing constantly the last few days, and all last night too. If she’s getting sick then she needs the fluids.

I really can’t wait for her to feel better so we can get back on track. She’s been making such strides but I don’t push the envelope while she’s not feeling well (actually we tend to backslide a bit), but I’m okay with it since when she feels better she tends to pick up where she left off. The crib has clearly become the “sleep space” to her, she’s getting so very good at shutting off and falling asleep soon as I put her in it. Some days she’s even a little wound up still but after a few brief minutes of walking around her crib whining she lays down and goes to sleep. Yesterday’s morning nap I was right there waiting for her to get tired and I ended up falling asleep. I would have woken up if she had started crying, which is what I was expecting… instead I woke up half an hour later to find her fast asleep in the far corner from me, all I can figure is that she got tired, layed down, and fell asleep.

I have to say, though… for all the good progress we’ve made and how we’ll she’s taken to the crib, I am freaking exhausted. I love my bed, I’m even getting used to sleeping by myself again. But I hate having to drag my ass out of bed several times a night. It blows. Kate settles down very quickly when I go in there and lightly touch her (on normal nights, not last night), but it still takes her a few minutes to fall soundly asleep so that I can leave again, meanwhile I’m either falling asleep on the futon or getting a back ache from leaning over the top of the crib. Then my heart pounds as I creep out, terrified she’s going to sit up and cry. Cosleeping is SO much easier. Maybe I should have moved Kate to her crib a month or two earlier when she started having troubles sleeping, but I certainly wouldn’t have done it before then. I look forward to cosleeping again with my next one. (Hopefully Kate will be sleeping mostly through the night by then. But at that point Kate will be Den’s problem at night!)