OMG what a day I have had. Actually, two days.

Monday, the day of her half-birthday, she celebrated by being an utter bear. It was a very whiny, clingy day. Which I can handle as long as she sleeps. I figured since she was being so clingy I would skip trying to put her on our bed and instead just let her sleep on me. That didn’t even work. She was tired, and cranky, and just got more tired and cranky, and nothing I did soothed her or got her to sleep… all of my usual tools exhausted, along with my patience and sanity. I finally took a page from Den’s rulebook and loaded her into the carseat, snapped it on the stroller, and took her and my dog for a walk. Kate quickly fell fast asleep and slept so soundly and for so long that when I got back to the house I just parked her by the front door and cleaned out my truck. At least I accomplished something useful.

(Yes we still use the carseat on the stroller, even though we don’t need to. I like looking at her, it’s easier to keep the sun out of her eyes with the carseat sunshade, and I can tuck her in all warm and snug to sleep. I realized, however, that her in her carseat is a shitload heavier than she used to be.)

When Den got home to watch her while I went to work I practically fled. I returned 4 hours later to hear that she’d been clingy, but slept fine on him. I settled with her for the evening while Den went out and… same damn thing again. Crying and crying. No sleeping.

She went to bed just fine, slept soundly as usual at night, until midnight as Den and I were just settling in to sleep. There was a loud noise, a very distinctive noise. A poopy noise. “Did she just do that?!” I exclaimed. 30 seconds later Kate was whimpering and waking up, wondering why the hell she had a poopy butt. I was wondering the same thing.

Tuesday did not bode well from the beginning. Our water heater broke, so while we do have heat (yay) we do not have hot water (crap). I had my annual gyno exam in the morning (sweet!) and Kate had her 6 month appointment in the afternoon. Plus I had to take her into work to finish my stuff I didn’t get done on Monday – a weekly occurrence now, but it just wasn’t good timing. Why the hell did I book an appointment for Tuesday? Ugh.

Surprisingly my appointment and hers both went very well. She flirted with the midwives and stared quizzically as one of them did my breast exam. She napped on me just fine, I actually had to wake her up to take her to her own appointment. That, too, went well. While waiting for the doctor to come in she was trying to roll and spin circles on the exam table, blowing bubbles and grabbing the paper table liner. She got two shots today and only cried very briefly, stopping as soon as I picked her up, then flirted with the receptionist as I checked out. At work she was great too – understandably whiny when I kept putting her down to try to do things, but she loves playing with my coworkers and it’s a new place to explore. Unfortunately with her now rolling she’s starting to roll towards the cats (I work at a rescue sanctuary) so I’m going to have to bring in a pack’n’play to keep her contained.

In order to get my work done I use the kozy. When she’s awake I either let her play with a coworker, if someone’s not busy, or she plays with her toys on the floor beside me while I work. When she’s sleepy I’ve learned to put her in a back carry in the kozy (using the couch to get her on – works like a charm!) and that’s when I do my inventory/lifting/moving things around. She sleeps quite well that way. But. Today I didn’t have help lifting things, I did it myself. It’s been a long time since I did, plus I had Kate on my back. Three cases of cat food at a time, that’s roughly 24lbs I’m lifting. Kate’s now 14lbs, so that’s 38lbs. Plus I can’t bend over when I’m wearing her so I have to squat. Squatting nearly 40lbs. Ouuccchhhhh. And it takes me 2-3 times as long to get things done, so I didn’t get home until 7. Ugh.

Oh did I mention I got a flu shot today at my appointment? I never get flu shots, at least not until I was pregnant with Kate. My arm hurts.

All of this leading to tonight. Kate went down and slept okay for a while, but then I woke up aching all over. My arm hurts from the shot, my legs hurt from the lifting, my back and neck hurt from carrying Kate all day. I just couldn’t lay there anymore, I needed to get up, use a hot pack, and take some tylenol. And Kate would NOT let me get up. Every time I tried she’d whimper and flail and wake up. I’d nurse her back to sleep again. Her fist kept clenching and unclenching, over and over, indicating that she just wasn’t sinking into a deep sleep. She just stayed there right at the edge. After an hour of this I finally gave up, woke Den up and told him to please try to keep her asleep somehow, and got up. Of course that failed. 10 minutes later I hear from the bedroom Kate “talking” in a very wide-awake voice. Normally at that point I’d go to bed and nurse her to sleep and stay asleep, I never get her out of bed in the middle of the night unless something is wrong… I highly encourage sleeping all night long! But tonight I just couldn’t… could not. And that’s why she was playing in her exersaucer at 2am.

15 minutes later there’s a terrific sound from the exersaucer, the sound of pants being filled. Over and over again. When I think she’s done I go over to inspect and find the diaper blew out the sides and top. What the hell? Second night in a row of a poopy diaper at night? She hasn’t done that in months! But it did explain why she wasn’t falling asleep very well.

I am tired. I ache all over. I don’t even have any hot water to take a bath (which would be SO GREAT right now). I got Kate back to sleep but she woke up 10 minutes later whining for me yet again… I nursed her and then woke Den up to please please cuddle her and keep her asleep. Please. She needs sleep and I need… well, drugs or alchohol would be lovely, but since I can’t really have either I’ll settle for a heat pack and some hot chocolate.

Maybe she’s teething – she still has no teeth. Maybe it’s a growth spurt. Maybe it’s just one of those weeks. I don’t know.