And then shit happens and I’m considering throwing in the towel – or at least postponing it for a while. DH and I are going to have a long talk when he gets home. At the very least I’m not so sure I want to pursue any kind of infertility treatments when we hit one year. I’m thinking maybe we were given this time to sort things out, and we need to SOLVE the problem, not just push it aside and hope it goes away.

(I don’t feel like going into specifics here. But I’ll say that the problem is not with the marriage. It’s just family/circumstance issues that will deeply impact our kids.)

It’s funny, I have never, ever been a religious person. And I’m not going to start believing in a god. But… but I’m really starting to understand why people look for meaning in things. Why people look for reasons and explanations.