Thank you all for your kind words. I still have absolutely no idea what we will end up doing, but I highly doubt I will be as attached to the new thing as I was the old. At least I have the dragon still.

::

In an apparent effort to keep my mind off the tree Kate was in full force today. I have no idea what was up with her, but oh boy was she cranky. She wanted to be held – no, not like that, or that either – and walked around. Her patience with her bouncer was very low, with the playmat miniscule, and with toys non-existant. I nursed her, Den walked her, all attempts to entertain her were met with a couple of smiles before she’d start whining and squirming.

I have a goodly amount of appreciation for breastfeeding on the best of days, but on days like today it is both utterly frustrating and the one saving grace. As much as she fussed and tugged I could always lay down on the bed with her and she will immediately fall silent and nurse peacefully. I even did that yesterday while we were out, she was hungry and overstimulated. Nursing goes from a trial to a blessing when I finally just lay down.

I truly love breastfeeding. Not just the theory and biology of it, the simplicity and ease – though I love all of those, too; but the feeling of it. I love snuggling into bed with my baby nuzzled againt my breast. I love the gentle tug of her sucks and the tingle of let-down. I love how her little hands clench my shirt and carress my skin. I love how her tense little body relaxes as soon as she latches on. The breast is her comfort, her safe place. I love providing that for her.

Sometimes I am the one that needs the comfort of nursing. In the midst of a trying day it is my reminder to stop and appreciate the little miracles. It gives me a boost of oxytocin, a quiet moment to reflect, and the warmth of a snuggle with a now calm and sweet child.