In the past two weeks Kate has suddenly decided she loves her bouncer. This is great news to me, since prior to that she hated it. The problem with it – as with her pack’in’play’s arch – is that the permanently attached toys on the playbar she can’t stand. Every time I hook on the play bar she starts screeching and crying. One time in an attempt to interest her I pulled on the ring on the toy to start the music and she immediately burst into tears. Uhhh. Okay, not good. And yet if I remove the toy bar and give her one of her favorite toys she will happily sit in it for 15 minutes playing. But I have to keep putting the toy back up by her hands, or sit there holding it up for her. That kind of negates the whole point in me putting her down for a few minutes so I can do something. So I took out my little sewing kit, cut the toys off the playbar, and sewed little loops there instead. Now I can hook any of her toys to it. Yay! But really, why don’t they do that in the first place? What baby wants the same toy there 24/7 anyways?

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Kate is 12 weeks now and I have seen a huge change over the last two weeks from a child who screamed every time she was put down to one who enjoys sitting in her bouncer or laying on the bed or floor babbling. I can set her up with a toy and eat my breakfast, put on laundry, clean up a little. Suddenly having a baby and taking care of a house is so much easier, since I can just bring the bouncer wherever I am. Apparently watching mommy clean up the kitchen is fascinating.

Unfortunately 2 days ago she decided she no longer wants to nap on my chest like she has since the day she was born. My suspicion is that she’s too long – her feet now rest on my legs even with her head uncomfortably high on my collarbone. She hates this. She used to kick my legs and throw her head from side to side until I hefted her up high enough. Now there is nothing I can do, she’s just not happy. She drove me crazy yesterday because she just would not nap, she was cranky and overtired. I kept doing the normal thing, putting her on my chest and patting and rocking her, but she just wouldn’t sleep! I finally laid down with her on our bed and boom, she was out like a light. Next nap, same thing: wouldn’t sleep on my chest, fell asleep soon as I laid down with her.

Now I refuse to lay in my bed for 6-8 hours a day for her naps, so I can sneak away. But! I can’t move her. She’s extremely sensitive to movement and wakes up as soon as I try to put her in her cosleeper. So for now I just remove all bedding and pillows from our bed, nurse her to sleep, and roll away from her. Some day I swear she’ll sleep in her cosleeper. (Maybe. By that point she may be too big for it!) This is stressful for us, we keep checking on her to make sure she’s still okay, and I go in as soon as I hear a squeak from her on the monitor. The other downside is that she only sleeps for about half an hour or so before she realizes I’m not there. I think I’ll need to stay with her for at least one nap a day until she is able to sleep longer by herself, or we’re all going to be miserable. Evenings suck after a day of only cat-naps.

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Kate is already looking so much bigger. I cuddle her at night and can’t believe how solid she feels, she’s no longer a breakable little newborn. Her arms and legs are so long, her head is so big, I can’t believe my little baby is growing up so quickly. Now that she doesn’t want to nap on me it’s sad too, there’s going to be a time when I can’t cuddle and kiss her anytime I want to. I’m not ready for that.

And yet at the same time she has so much more personality, she’s so awake and interested in everything. She babbles all the time, she plays with her toys, she smiles like crazy at us. I guess for everything she loses she gains something in return.