Hands Full
The rare naps that Katherine takes in places other than my arms always leave me feeling a little bit lost. First I’m all, I can do stuff! I have two hands! And can walk around freely! I can even go pee! but then soon enough I start thinking that I should do something with this golden opportunity, but what?! Maybe I run around putting her clean laundry away, maybe I grab myself some food. Or maybe I just sit here with my knees pulled up to my chest, typing with both hands. It’s quite the treat.
Kate is 4 weeks old and I really have no idea how people manage their lives with a toddler, a newborn, and a husband back at work. But then maybe they have a baby who will nap when you put them down. Once Kate figures that one out I’ll be golden. Until then I’ll continue spending a lot of time in the rocking recliner. I think I could have done more to encourage her to sleep elsewhere, but then I really needed her in my arms those first few weeks – for me, not her. I do just fine… as long as I don’t have to actually accomplish anything or go anywhere. Then it gets tricky.
I’ve noticed that despite me not having any schedule at all Kate is slowly settling into a pattern. She wakes and sleeps randomly through the day, but the past few days she slept for 3-4 hours when she fell asleep at 9 or 10pm. Unfortunately I did not go to bed so I did not get that much sleep. And she has been waking up at 5:30am wide awake. Tonight I’m going to try that schedule myself and see how it goes. I don’t think she will sleep that long in her cosleeper, however – she has been sleeping in there, but it’s not as soundly as when she’s in my arms, she tends to wake up after an hour or two. (And yes, I have tried swaddling her multiple times. She woke up after 10 minutes and screamed. I now swaddle her lower half and leave her arms out, that seems to work okay.)
I’m very happy we’ve made it a month breastfeeding. It’s hard, but getting easier. No more nipple pain! Right now we are dealing with Kate popping on and off the boob while nursing and getting wicked cranky about it. It could be several different things: reflux, gas, milk flow too fast or too slow. I’m trying to figure out which one it is. Tomorrow is her ped appointment so I’ll be asking him about reflux. We know she is gassy. But when on the boob she mainly just seems to get frustrated and angry, my gut feeling is that the boob is not behaving the way she wants it to. So I’m just trying to pay attention to her and make mental note of her behavior. I’ve heard from others that their babies are doing similar things right around the same age so hopefully it’s just a phase she’ll grow out of. This too shall pass.
She has changed so much in the past month – she looks so different and yet the same too. I try hard not to wish time away, even when she’s fussy and crying. These days seem so very brief.
Yes, that was my challenge too — not wishing the days away when times were tough. I found the popping off the boob really difficult. We had a lot of trouble with the breastfeeding, so I’m afraid I have nothing useful to contribute there, except to say WELL DONE! You’re still going strong!
I, too, have no idea how anyone manages the early newborn weeks with a working husband and/or other children. I found it difficult enough to deal with our (suddenly bloodthirsty, murderous) cat when A was a tiny baby.
You know, A was terrible for jerking himself awake all the time for weeks and weeks on end, and then somehow … he stopped. We never swaddled him (it was sweltering here, not even the lightest muslin would have been ok), he just grew out of it. He slept in all sorts of places for ages (our arms, our bed, bouncy chair), but now sleeps happily all night in his own bed for 11-12 hours at a stretch. Don’t worry too much about what you have or haven’t done so far, you’re still at the very beginning.
Good to hear from you, and looking forward to seeing more photos!
All three of my kids acted like that around 4-6 weeks – pulling off, crying etc. It went away and it will with Kate too. As for your comment about needing her in your arms instead of putting her down, of course you did! And she is only four weeks old. There is nothing established about the patterns of a four week old. You have weeks and weeks and months to get her sleeping on her own, and only this time with her so tiny and willing to sleep away while you cuddle. Just follow your instincts. Besides, she just may not be the kid who sleeps well on her own. We had two that did and a third who resisted all efforts to sleep alone. Still screams in the night at over 12 months and we used the exact same methods that had the first two sleeping. Personality is everything.
Our Bug would scream and scream when he was put down – for the first three months! He’d still rather sleep on the boob than anywhere else and he’s 15 months old now. I think it’s completely normal. I no longer remember how long it was until he’d sleep somewhere other than “on my chest” but it was a while. I know it’s hard but it sounds like you’re following your instincts and she’s doing fine and you’re doing mostly fine. Also, really, she was held every day for 9 months, so it always seemed logical to me that it would take a few months for a baby to get used to not being held all the time!
Read the book “Babywise”. You may not agree with everything in it but the book is a life-saver!
Reading your stories, I sometimes feel like we have the same baby. Mine is 10 months old now, but she started out the same as Kate… never wanted to sleep in her bed, and always slept best in our arms and while nursing. It’s a precious time. My babe started sleeping in her own crib around 2 months and has slept fine there ever since. There was a transition time, of course. We started putting her in there for naps more and more, and pretty soon, it was standard procedure, and she slept best there on her own.
We also had the pop on/off issue while breastfeeding. You’re so right that everything is a phase, and this too shall pass. At 10 months, breastfeeding is so incredibly easy for us. I feel like we could do it forever. We have been through all kinds of phases: popping on/off, being easily distracted, wanting to roll over (right after learning to roll) and wanting to crawl away (right after learning to crawl). All of these things felt difficult in the moment, but I don’t remember any of them lasting more than a few days or a week. And then things would go back to normal and be fine again.
I’m so happy for you and your little family. Best of luck with everything! :o)