A very well-meaning woman that I know online emailed me specifically to tell me to relax. I only brought up TTC in a thread because one of the other women there are pregnant, and I congratulated her but mentioned that I may or may not be replying to baby threads, because of our situation – I just didn’t want her to take it personally, the “it’s not you, it’s me” thing. ;) I tend to be upfront like that.

But what do you reply to the “just relax”? I didn’t want to spaz out – okay, I did want to, but thought it was a bad idea – because the woman is very nice, I like her, I know she’s well-meaning. But arrgggggg. Arg. What I ended up doing was mentioning that, scientifically, “relaxing” doesn’t change the probability of the outcome (unless stress is messing with ovulation). I then went on to just explain our situation a little (since she brought it up) and hopefully get across some of the sadness and frustration we feel. And point out that we don’t know if there’s a medical problem or not.

On the plus side, she didn’t say that relaxing will solve all TTC problems – she prefaced it with, “If you have done testing and know you are ovulating and hubby’s sperm count is good…” So that to me says that at least she understands there are bigger problems. So I just replied that we don’t really know yet – beyond knowing that my charts say I’m ovulating (there can be problems beyond that that we don’t know, unfortunately, like insufficient uterine lining) and we’ll be finding out Den’s SA next month, we don’t really know. That’s part of what makes this so frustrating right now, because every month of negatives make us think that something is wrong and we just don’t know what it is.