Measurements for today, since Den said I’m looking trimmer (measurements don’t weigh that out):
Waist: 28.5″
Hips: 40.25″

Edit: Den says I’ve been measuring this all wrong and that my actual measurement is 34″. I don’t want to hear that.

Edit2: I looked it up online. “Measure mid-way between the top of your hip bone and the bottom of the rib cage.” Another site: “As a rough guide, your waist is the narrowest part of your trunk, or approximately 1 inch above your belly button.” Which is exactly what I was doing. Den was measuring overtop of the top of my hip bone. So there!