I have started waking up multiple times a night – but it’s not to pee. (Though half the time once I’m awake I figured what the hell, better pee while I’m awake.)

Well first of all the damn german shepherd has decided that, since I take up less room on the bed than daddy, he should crowd onto my side to make use of all that wasted space. This makes me sweat, and I wake up pinned under my sheets, unable to roll over, and overheating. I have been kicking him off the bed about 4 times a night. (Literally – I start shoving him with my foot saying, “Off! Wake up and get off, damnit!” and he groans at me as if to say, “Lady, you are freaking annoying, cut it out.” On about the fourth boot to his butt he finally slides off the bed. I’m pretty sure he just waits for me to fall back asleep, then crawls back up and falls back asleep.) As spring sprung I have downgraded our blankets to the summer sheets and one of the microfiber winter sheets as the blanket. This is just the right balance for right now – as long as I am not within a foot of any external source of heat, such as my husband or the big furry dog.

The other reason is that last week my left hip started aching at night. I’d wake up in the morning with it all stiff and sore, which frustrated me because it still feels so early for that – I remember it last time at 35 weeks, not 32. And I’ve been sleeping with a body pillow from the start, which has been very comfortable – until last week. So… I downgraded. I moved the body pillow to my other side, so now I’m not sleeping with any pillow when I’m laying on my left. And what do you know, the hip stopped hurting! I guess it was just the angle on that particular hip… who knows. I might have another few weeks that I can sleep comfortably, and I’m trying to milk it. I actually think I’m sleeping more comfortably this time than last pregnancy… weird.

And finally the main reason I’ve been waking up frequently… my mind is wide awake and racing. I’ve mentioned the nesting I’m doing – major organizing and cleaning, including twitching every time something in this house is out of place. I’ve been annoying Denis by putting things back before he’s done with them, walking behind him throwing things out, asking him, “Is this yours? Where do you want it? You can’t leave it on the table!” And apparently this extends into my night time, too. So I’ve been waking up at, say, 4am, thinking about more things to do… baby items to buy, paperwork to get sorted, people I need to train at work to take over while I’m gone. My brain is just in this whirlwind and I really have to convince myself that it’s better on everyone if I fall back asleep and get the 8 hours of sleep I had intended on. I thought I was supposed to be getting more fatigued… what’s with this energy and perkiness? It is so not like me, it’s a little weird.

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I just finished a fabulous book: Baby Catcher: Chronicles of a Modern Midwife. It is a story, not an informational type book, and obviously is geared towards more of the crunchy audience, being about a midwife’s experiences. But it was good. Humorous, interesting, and very poignant. I would recommend it to anyone who feels even slightly enchanted by the birthing process and is looking for some light reading. The chapters/stories are short so I was easily able to read while at work (when I’m always getting interrupted by, you know, work.)

The book did not have all happy ending stories, just to be warned – there were a couple of stillbirths/losses mentioned. I actually found that to be more satisfying than if they were all happy endings – it seemed more real. If it was entirely a happy glossy book I think I’d have been a little irritated.

But for me I think the thing that I enjoyed the most was the stories of all the different kinds of labors. Long, short, loud, quiet, hospital, homebirth, early, late. It was so reassuring to me that even if my labor takes on a life of its own, even if it is nothing like my first one, that I will still be able to manage it. I admit, I’ve been thinking a lot about my last labor and how ideal it was (in all ways but the main one), then worrying that this next one will be much longer and harder. Yes, I’ve been questioning my ability to handle it, especially now having expectations and comparisons.

I really wish I could see and hear more lovely birth stories instead of the scary ones. I wish there were more uplifting books and TV shows.