The furry kids
A question I get asked more frequently than I feel I ought to is, “Now that you’re having a baby, what are you going to do with the dogs and cats?” And I blink and say, “Nothing!” Well, it’s not nothing exactly – but we’re certainly not getting rid of any of them! If such time comes that we have a serious conflict on our hands then we’ll handle it appropriately, but that’s not something we are anticipating.
We do however have some plans in place for getting everyone ready for the changes.
Our fence is getting finished before the baby is born, not so that we can “put the dogs out” but so that they have a play space to get some energy out, and so that I won’t have to leash them both up every day and take them out to go potty (which I can only imagine would be nearly impossible with two dogs and a baby – it’s hard enough with two dogs and being pregnant!). The dogs are both crate-trained and are used to being crated during the day since currently we both work. They may or may not continue to be crated while Den is at work, me at home alone with the baby – that really depends on how good their behavior is. If they’re obnoxious and I’m at wit’s end, they’ll be crated for everyone’s sanity until Den is home to help manage the zoo.
Neither the cats nor the dogs will be allowed in the baby’s room. Mostly this is because of the fur issue. I’d really love to keep her crib and clothes as furless as possible – which, yes, I know is impossible in a house with pets. But I’d really prefer it if the cats don’t sleep in the crib and the dogs don’t try taking off with dirty diapers. We’ll either be keeping her door closed or be putting up a tall, swing-open babygate in the doorway.
As for expectations, they’ve all seen kids before, though they’ve never been around them for any length of time. The cats don’t seem to mind kids at all, in fact Jojo was “playing” with my niece (22 months old) last time she was over – he was jumping on his cat tree and running towards and away from her in some mad game of tag. She thought it was hysterical. (And so did I, actually. I’ve never seen him do that before!) Merlin was a little shy towards her until he realized that she’s nice, human, and – score! – closer to his level than an adult human. So he was loving on her after a while, much to her delight. Of course if any kid gets too rough or overbearing the cats both show disgust and leave. We have one room babygated off and furniture that they can jump on, and they know just to leave the area and go somewhere the irritating one can’t reach.
The dogs have differing opinions. Zeeke LOVES kids. He thinks they are absolutely awesome and the few times we’ve had relatives with kids over for picnics Zeeke shines in absolute joy. Unfortunately he’s also 95lbs and can knock the little ones over pretty easily – so that will be our biggest issue, I think. He just doesn’t realize that he’s big. Zeeke, being a German Shepherd, is also highly protective of anything of “his.” Once the baby becomes a part of our pack we have no doubt he’ll be watching over her like a hawk, making sure that we all treat her right. He’s already started hovering over me – he’s the only one of our four who has noticed that something is up with me. Since I got pregnant – and this happened both times – he has been sleeping near me, checking on me, and just in general being the watchdog.
Zoe is terrified of all strangers, so there’s really no test for this one – she treats all strangers, adult and children alike, as “scary, bad, must-go-away-now-OMG.” She takes a long time (weeks, months) to warm up to people, so she’ll likely be totally avoiding the baby for a while until she figures out that it’s “ours.” A newborn is pretty non-threatening, doesn’t move or anything, so I figure by the time the kid is mobile Zoe will have adjusted just fine. Zoe is also our resident blond and her thought processes tend to follow the track of, “That’s interesting, will you play with me now? Oh look, a shiny thing!” She’s easily amused, easily occupied, and while she needs some attention she’s also perfectly fine playing with a toy for hours or just sleeping next to me.
Of course one of the most important things will be teaching Kate how to treat the animals. I think it will be invaluable to have her grow up with pets, to gain an early sense of compassion for other creatures, to realize that we are caretakers and we need to treat them well. I really hope to impart to her a real sense of responsibility towards all beings.
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One of the big things we have on our to-do list for getting the house ready for a baby is to have all the hardwood floors redone. Our house is small, so it’s only three rooms – both bedrooms and the living room – and a hallway, but that consists of 3/4 of the main floor. This house was built in the early 50’s and it has seemed to us that floors have never been redone; they are terribly stained and have no protective finish on them at all. (Tell me how fun that was when I was potty-training Zoe!) The floors are just one of the things that Needs To Get Done, but it’s a large undertaking. Of course in the meantime we haven’t bothered with any furniture in the baby’s room. No sense putting something together just to take it apart and move it out! So I’ve sat and waited. Devin’s crib waits, disassembled, in a storage room (we never got to the point of setting up the nursery for him, so I have truly never seen it whole and complete).
Friday Den came home from work and told me he’s contacted the flooring guy and it will all be getting done on Wednesday. This coming Wednesday. Mere days away. I am so unbelievably thrilled! I really can’t imagine this house with shiny, bright, new-looking floors. And the thought of truly being able to put together the baby’s room has me giddy.
My next thought was how on earth Den was going to move out all of our furniture before Wednesday – and where he’s going to put everything. But then, I guess that’s not my problem… he’ll figure it out somehow. We’re going to have to live in the basement for a few days while it all cures, so I sure hope he finds a way to get the mattress down there – you can see where my priority is!
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For those interested, I’ve uploaded a video I took of baby Kate kicking. It seems smaller in the video than it looks in person, but it still shows how she shakes it up on a daily basis!
I’ve never heard of ‘crate training’ til now!
One of the things that we did in advance of Jacob’s arrival home is brought the hospital blanket that smelled like him home to our collie Oreo. She was very enamored with it….would smell it, and just take complete notice to such. Everytime Eric came home from the hospital, he brought something else baby-smelling with him.
By the time we came home a few days later, Oreo was like a little mama-hen and completely alright with the baby. Maybe that would help Zoe?
Fiona – It’s very useful! Zeeke used to have severe separation anxiety and have huge panic attacks – destroying furniture – whenever we left the house. Crating him was the one thing that saved our house and kept him calm, helped him work through his anxiety. It’s a fantastic thing. The dogs adore their crates – they tend to sleep in them at night (they’re in the bedroom), even though the doors are wide open and they are free to sleep wherever they want to.
Christina – That is a great idea, we definitely will be doing that!
Our dog (border collie) is crate trained too, which I also expect to come in very handy! He’s my guy and I’ve also noticed him being more careful and loving with me. I’ve been training him on walks with the stroller already – no pulling allowed, strict heel position maintained. I expect that he will help me to get up and walking again ASAP after the delivery, which will be good for everybody – we live in an apt and he has to be walked. I’m also planning on bringing a blanket home from the hospital for him to have – he loves babies though so I don’t anticipate any problems. He will be allowed in the baby’s room when supervised (I imagine I’ll enjoy the “adult” company during nightime feedings especially) but I am worried about our cat, who is a bit of a jerk – pushy, loves warmth, and likes to “dig” into stuff with all his claws out.
Kelly – Oh yes, the stroller. Zoe is going to FREAK OUT at the stroller (trying to ride a bike with her was like trying to ride a bike while tied to a wildcat – do not recommend, btw). But Zeeke has a great heel, so he at least can go for walks without a problem. For the cat, get a little spray bottle of water. If he starts clawing something of the baby’s, spray him. We’ve got our cats mostly trained to use their scratching post, and not my recliner (but it’s not perfect).
we still adore our furkids, but i have to say, they get the shaft a LOT now. There’s just too much on our plates.
Our dog didn’t really start getting the shaft until we had a couple of kids and they were older. However, she adores and is adored by the kids. It’s funny because she was terrified of children before. She was a rescue and we think mistreated by a mean child as a pup. So the very sight of children used to send her into doggy hysterics. We were a tiny bit concerned. But after an initial period of adjustment, she’s very calm around children now. Not even just our children. You can teach an old dog a new trick. :)
It’s interesting to see if the dog’s maternal instincts kick in as well. When the baby would cry, our dog used to look at me “are you going to get that or should I?” And I have a friend whose dog tried to nurse the baby. That dog had had puppies.
In any case, we got the same sort of question but it was never really an issue for us. We found it a lot of fun to see how the dog adjusted and how the babies love the dog.
Love the video, I am absolutely amazed and amused seeing belly movements of preg ladies. Of course that may make me a bit creepy too hmmm LOL
Nacho was brilliantly crate trained until he figured out how to open his crate and that was the end of that. But while he was he would sleep in it on his own accord and lounge in it. They really do think of it as their own little den. It was so funny b/c when we would crate him at night when he was younger we would get a treat and say to him “Go get in your house!” and he would take off running and you could go into the room where his crate was and there he was laying down in it patiently waiting for his treat lol
That was so cool to watch! I imagine it must be very comforting to see Kate wiggling so much. Congrats, again, on your little girl!
I was going to tell you exactly what Christina J did. Zoe may pleasantly surprize you! Make sure the cats have NO interest in the crib while you are waiting for Katie and if they do, keep the door to the nursery closed even before baby comes home. We left the nursery door closed at night when baby was sleeping when we had our first for fear she the cat would get in the crib with her. Unfortunately our cat was 20 when we had to put her down in January 2008. We also had 2 dogs when we brought our first daughter home and they both LOVED her!!But we also did the blanket trick and I was in the hospital 5 days for a C-section!