Names
To be honest, I am so annoyed that I don’t have a clear idea on which name to use for this baby. Denis too is frustrated by my indecision, but has remained neutral, saying he loves both names (though he’s clear on which one he’d choose) and it’s up to me. He knows how I make decisions using my emotional brain, that I am waiting to feel it, to know it. But he also knows how deadlocked I can become.
This is not something anyone can help me with. I have gone up and down the list of pros and cons (in my head) of each name, of why it may or may not suit her, of problems we may or may not run into, of which full name I like better, which nickname I like better, what people will end up calling her, what peoples’ reactions will be, and what she will eventually think of her name. I tried a suggestion where I call out each name in my living room; it was supposed to clarify which name suits our family, which name fits in our home, but instead I realized they both equally failed as I still simply cannot picture a child in this house. I am paralyzed with indecision and anxiety. I want not just a good name, but the perfect. I fear regret.
Obviously I am far, far over-thinking this.
I never expected to be this person, the one with the nameless baby. Especially not after Devin, who was Devin from 18 weeks forward, whose very identity and name brought me so much comfort (and yet so much pain). For him there was only one possible name, the perfect name, and it was so easy. Knowing who he was ahead of time seemed so precious to me. I want that again. I don’t want to go into the labor room not knowing who she is. I don’t want to be panicking at the last minute.
This baby has been problematic from the start. She never had a nickname and now she doesn’t have a real name, either.
I’m starting to vote for waiting to give her a name until she pops on out lol
Well, Catherine Elizabeth is my sister’s name and I love that name. She goes by Katie. It sounds like the perfect nickname for your babe is Kate or Cate, I love that name! You really don’t have to name her until you see her. Then I think the perfect name will come.
Good luck and remember this is an amazing problem to have. =)
Honestly, I think once you see baby girl you will find the name that suits her, even if you have to mix and match from the two names you’ve got. It may be easier once you see her in person and not just from the u/s videos/pics.
For now, just enjoy this pregnancy and have fun *HUGS*
We had a short list of names for our H, but didn’t want to choose one until we met him. I think it’s okay to know the list of names and when you see her, her true name will be obvious. It was with H. We ended up with T’s first choice, not mine. But I knew when I saw him which one his name was.
(In other words, I agree with Emerald.)
I’m waiting to name my little one because it hurt so much the last time when I lost my baby and my name. I always wanted to name my baby after my grandmother. So when Sally Ann died, it was a double loss for me. I am leaning towards naming her after my late mom, but am perfectly content being non committal right now.
If it is really bothering you, why not choose by picking them out of a hat. If you like both names equally as well, let “the universe” decide. If that doesn’t work for you, then maybe you do have a favorite. Just choose it. Denis seems ok with either- and you can always change your mind later…that’s what we women do, right?
We had two names that we couldn’t decide on. I was sure in my head that I liked this one better, but we said we’d wait and see what he looked like. When he came out, I gave one look and said to Dh, he looks like the name you like most. So, it’s good to have some names in mind and you don’t have to decide now, before you even know what she looks like
De-lurking to say I was just reading another blog where the woman shared how she chose her daughter’s name. After she decided on a name she liked she would leave this name when ordering take-out or when asked what her name was at Starbucks. It was good practice in getting used to the name and seeing if it was a good fit and she liked seeing others’ reactions or how it sounded when they said it back to her. Kind of like trying it out on herself before giving it to her daughter. I thought that was a great idea.
I have had a really hard time with both Erin and Patrick. Cora’s name was perfect. I mourned her name as much as I mourned her.
Erin’s and Patrick’s names are not perfect. I’m not in love with their names like I was Cora. And I was worried about that all through my pregnancies with both of them. But, once I got them in my arms I decided that as long as I get to have THEM to hold and love, it doesn’t matter if their names are perfect or not.
And now that I’ve used their names so often, I can’t imagine calling them anything else.
I don’t understand the “that name suits them” idea. A name is a name, and once you’re used to calling them that, that’ll be their name. *shrugs*
Good luck honey. Naming a child is so hard sometimes.
Man, after everything else you’ve been through, it sucks that the universe won’t give you peace about the name question! I mostly agree with the commenters who say it’s fine to have a short list, and then settle on a name after her birth. But I also totally sympathize with needing a name, and identity, for her now. Maybe finding a non-permanent nickname (Sweetpea? Our Girl? Munchkin?) to use until you know which name is hers would help?
we had a few names we were considering for my son before he was born. we didn’t actually pick his name until 4 days before he was born. then he came early. :) and when i saw him, i just knew that was his name.
you’ll figure it out. it will just come to you.
What always works for me when I am trying to decide something like this is to choose one from a hat, then see how you feel about that choice. A lot of times the one I really likes becomes obvious because I am either fine with the pick, or I hate it so much I change it for good to the other.
Don’t worry though. We were in the same predicament with Anna Grace. We had decided on the name Riley Ann. But, as it got closer and closer I decided I really didn’t want that name. Actually it was the day we found out she was a girl. We did not have a boys name picked out just a girl and when we found out and DH called her Riley I just shuddered. I didn’t like it. Up to that point though I had refused to even worry about names because until we knew the sex it was kind of pointless. Anna Grace had been the name I liked all along, but DH didn’t like it at first. Then one day HE actually suggested it and I was like, uh, yeah!!
My first daughter, I swear, I was in a book store and I heard the name whispered in my ear as I was looking for a baby name book. But my ex hated it. We somehow ended up naming her that though.
I know whichever you choose will be perfect! :)
I can’t believe I fell in love with a man who ended up agreeing with the name I picked out over 10 years ago – Taiga. He loves it as much as I do. It makes it easier to hide from my parents so I don’t have to hear 14 weeks of argument about how this isn’t a GAME, and completely insulates me when I tell others and I can see them react – *that’s* a weird name.
Kelly, I hate waiting for reactions like that! It’s one of my hangups about the name Cailet… every time I tell someone it’s one of our choices I get a strange look and a “cay-what?” Sigh.
Ours either. I can’t imagine having the conversation. I couldn’t imagine that any of our boy names from the girls (they were surprises) would be back on the list — I wanted a fresh start. And lo, they’re all on the list and the list only includes two new names, one of which is a long-shot from me. I’m not sure if I’m being subconsciously “not jinxy” or what, but I have a feeling this kid, like my daughters, will be named in the hospital.
Neither of my babies were named until after they were born, although they had in utero nicknames. I hear you on wanting to know what her name is now, though, to be able to attach that to what you know of her personality and really know who she is. How do you pronounce Cailet?