I am obsessed with baby clothes. I don’t really know why; I wasn’t obsessed with clothes at all when I was pregnant with Devin. But then again that time my attention was taken up with baby gear and cloth diapers – now those are all purchased, and all I have left are… clothes. At least I am focused simply on getting enough basics: onesies, footed sleepers, gowns. I know people will probably bestow us with all manner of cute girlie clothes, but for right now I’m always on the lookout in stores for simple, sweet-looking, and cheap sets of onesies. I laugh at the items that are like $30. Seriously? I don’t spend that on my own clothes.

Thankfully I have calmed down a lot about the whole omg-girls-clothes-are-terrible, since I have been able to find a few girl things that I actually like. It’s still a major pain, but at least I know there are things out there for my little girl. I like understated. Pastel. Simple. But yes… at least I like pink.

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This little girl continues to be active and have a developing personality.

She has made it abundantly clear that she doesn’t like some of my pants. Now they are a little tight, I admit, but they don’t bother me, for the most part they’re actually quite comfortable. But they bother her. She spends all day kicking the waistband. It is invading her personal space, and I am to move it, immediately. She doesn’t like when I slouch forward, either. Or when I sleep comfortably snugged up to my body pillow, tucked in tight against my belly. All I get is *pop!* *pop!* *pop!*. It’s like she spends the entire duration throwing a little hissy fit about it. Now I can’t really blame her about the personal space issue – she gets that from me – but dude, mommy’s doing the best she can here. I can only shudder to think how irritated she’s going to be when my uterus reaches my ribs. (And I’ll admit it: sometimes I wear those pants just to get her going. Teehee.)

Thankfully she has let daddy feel her kicks a few times now. She does still usually go quiet, but she’s staying active for longer so he can “catch” her when I call him over – as long as I don’t move or disturb her. He gets so happy every time I mention that she’s kicking me.

My body also has some of its own rules, like not sitting in one position for too long. My lower back has been compressing again – my chiropractor has started pressing down on my sacrum to stretch it out and oh. my. god. it is the best feeling ever. I walk out of there feeling fantastic. Things are definitely loosening up some, as when I curve my back and suck in my butt – even if I’m not doing it intentionally, just reaching for something – I can feel things go pop pop in my lower back.

My feet, oh my poor feet. I’m back to the heating pack between my feet, because when they get cold – which they do often, it’s the middle of winter and our floors are cold – they just start cramping up. Right now it tends to get really painful right up through my arch, which is one of the weirdest places to get a foot cramp – I’m used to toes, or calves. So it’s a soak in hot water and then a heat pack, and stretching my foot out this way and that, before I can lay down without it cramping up again.

My extremities are starting that numbness thing again. Even something simple like leaning against my arm in a chair will make my whole arm fall asleep. I’m starting to have to be more careful about how I lean or lay – especially when I’m trying to sleep. Between my feet cramping and my hands going numb I really have to work at making sure I’m laying in just the right position! (And then the baby starts kicking me because SHE doesn’t like how I’m laying, and I tell her TOUGH!)

Foods are strange – I get wicked hungry, but then get full really quickly and stay full for a long time. I’m just not wanting a large quantity of food… small meals are my thing. I try to keep nuts in my desk to snack on during the day. Sadly I’m going to have to give up apples, because they just give me indigestion and sometimes heartburn. I have been craving milk in a HUGE way ever since I gave myself “permission” to drink more again – since I got over my cold/sinus thing. I just can’t get enough. I think I’ve been going through a half gallon a day, by myself. There are some days when I just can’t stop thinking about drinking some milk, and I’ll rush home from work and just chug a huge glass. So, so good. My other new (rediscovered?) favorite thing is combining potato chips with yogurt. My favorite is baked lays. I use the yogurt like a dip. Yum! I just love the combo of sweet and salty, I think that’s what’s doing it for me right now. Peanut butter on celery is another favorite combo right now. It’s funny – once I start adding in the cheese, yogurt, milk, nuts and peanut butter… I am doing great in terms of eating protein. I have also discovered that those Carnation Instant Breakfast things are really good too. Especially good for a girl like me, who likes to roll out of bed 30 minutes before I need to be out the door.

Which is only possible because I have given up on blowdrying my hair. One thing that is happening this pregnancy is that my hair is getting curlier… and I think dryer. The same blowdry technique that used to give me a cute little curled-under hairdo before… now makes me look like I walked through a windtunnel and halfassedly attempted to straighten my hair. It’s curly here, straight and strawlike over there, my banks are sticking out funny… oh yeah, it’s fun. So I think next time I see my hair stylist I’m just going to tell her to go with the curl and give me something fabulous that works with it, rather than against it. I just don’t have the time or energy to fight with my hair every damn morning. I much prefer to sleep.

But hey, at least my skin is nice and clear. It isn’t when I’m not pregnant, even at 27…. so hey, I’ll take what I get.

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I had a pregnancy-hormone-amplified meltdown the other day. Yes, about politics. As any astute (or even really non-astute – it’s not like it’s a secret) person will note, I am an extremely liberal person, politically speaking. I live in MA. I did not have a good week. Which is to be expected, but it caught me off-guard that I was so upset.

The thing is, I’m a Canadian transplanted to the US. (No, I can’t vote yet. I am now eligible for to become a naturalized citizen, and I plan to get my citizenship before the next big election, but right now I don’t feel like dealing with that paperwork processing when I have a baby on the way.) I’m realizing more and more that this affects me more than I might have thought previously. While I sat there feeling upset, more than frustrated I felt alone, unwelcome. It’s not just that I’m unhappy that things don’t happen the way I want them to. It’s more that I feel deeply rejected. In the comments I hear around me, the talk of evil socialism and scary liberals. Canadians are all naturally a more liberal than your average American, and I find that there is not nearly as polarized, either. It’s this deep chasm in the US that upsets me so much… this constant bickering, this great divide. How can one government ever really fulfill the needs of such dichotomous ideals? All I can see is a lifetime of this warring, distrust, tug-and-pull between the sides. In contrast Canadian politics seems so much more… balanced. Granted Canadians all maintain a wary, resigned distrust of politicians in general, but in that way people shrug and admit that the groups all have pros and cons and they’ll all manage to fuck it up somehow. It gives me a great sense of the grass is greener on the other side – something I need to try to keep perspective on.

As passionate and opinionated as I can be, I am far too sensitive, too soft-hearted, to have anything to do with politics. I will always support my causes and speak out when I feel I need to, but I know for my own good I just need to leave politics to those who can handle it. Now that I am pregnant (and extra emotional) I have turned it all off – I do not read about it, I do not even let Den watch commentary on a TV near me. It just needlessly gets me worked up. And why? I can’t do anything about it, not right now. This world, this country, spins on no matter how upset I get about it. Now is the time to focus on myself, my baby, my family, and leave the rest for later. So I must say that it really pisses me off when some asshole of a stranger makes a comment – cloaked as “just chit-chatting” – when I have done absolutely nothing to invite such. Just because I don’t want to talk about it doesn’t mean I don’t care. In fact it means I probably care far too much.