No emotional breakdowns today, but I’m in a pissy mood. It appears that everything is going to continue to be a struggle until Denis gets home.

The truck died again, and this time trying to jump-start it myself didn’t work. I ended up just getting a membership to AAA and then later calling someone to jump it. It did start, but not easily, so I drove it to the repair shop where it will be tomorrow, getting a new battery and getting looked over. If we’re lucky it will be JUST the battery. But this means that tomorrow – like today – I’m stuck with my car, which means walking up a nice icy hill to my job, since the car cannot make it up if it’s slippery.

Now that I’m spending more time with Zeeke I’ve been noticing a couple of little things that needs to get checked out by a vet. Little lumps on his back and chest (probably fatty cysts), a very raw mouth (I’m thinking possibly caused by anxiety/obsessive licking), those two stupid toenails. And getting the rest of his nails cut would be a good idea. But I’ll wait until Den gets home to take him in. I am so not handling that one alone. As long as there’s no emergency… and there had better not be.

I’m finishing the christmas shopping and wrapping presents. I’m addressing cards and mailing gifts. I’m putting up decorations, fixing broken lights.

Even things you just don’t even think about, like getting a delivery of propane. The tank is in the backyard, which requires using the gate. Well, there is still snow – heavy, wet snow. So what do I do? Put off the delivery until next week and hope I don’t run out? Or attempt to move snow so I can open the gate? Should I even be trying to shovel heavy snow??

The weather isn’t really cooperating still, either. Yesterday was a terrible day, first big fat snow, then sleet, then rain and fog. That slush froze on my walkway. Yeah, it’s great.

I am getting plenty of sleep, but I just feel exhausted from having to deal with all of it by myself. Any of the pieces by themselves are not a problem really – an irritation or minor concern, maybe. But there’s something very different when you’re the ONLY one who can deal with all of them, and they’re all coming at once.

BUT. As far as baby is concerned I am doing GREAT. I feel fine – really really good, in fact. Despite the big boobs and the little rounding belly, I am actually feeling less pregnant than I did before. I’m not sick, I’m not feeling so much ligament pains and twinges. Bloating has gone way down as well. I just feel…. good. Sure, I get out of breath climbing stairs, and once in a while it feels like someone squashes my bladder. And I am rather glad for those little reminders.

Of course the best little reminders are the little tiny pokes I get in my belly. They are still so so soft, I find myself constantly second-guessing myself. But I’ve had a few that I knew without a doubt were the baby. Also sometimes I get this stretching, pushing, rolling feeling in my belly. Very distinctive. I just love it. I do find myself laying here in the evenings, hand on my belly, asking the baby to do more for me. Yes, I am greedy. The little pokes are fine. But oh would I love to feel a good solid kick.

2 weeks until my anatomy ultrasound. And less than one week until Den comes home.