16 weeks pregnant today with a good appointment to confirm that all is going well!

I had to wait a long time, even though I got there early, as everyone was trying to track down different pieces of my records – this was my first appointment with the Midwives after transferring. My labs were in the computer system, my few papers from earlier appointments were finally found, but all my ultrasounds remain elsewhere – apparently they were not sent over with the rest.

My weight on their scale read 135lbs. Very nice, I’m happy with that. Assume about a 5lb gain so far – possibly less. The nurse didn’t say my blood pressure outloud, so I’m assuming it was same as usual.

So after waiting for a while for records and things to be found, finally the Midwife came in. I only sort of recognized her from 2 years ago, I only saw her once. But she asked if I’d been in before, I looked familiar to her. She was warm and friendly and apologised for having to go through the million and one questions but they needed it for their records. So very quickly I said, No, no, no, no, depression and anxiety, celexa, no, no, no, one laparscopic salpingectomy due to an ectopic, one exploratory laparscopy, and 5 IVF retrievals. That is pretty much my history in a nutshell. At the point she brought up pregnancy history she asked specifically, “What number pregnancy is this?” (Three.) “Any living children?” (No.) “You had a loss at, what, 36 weeks, right?” OH THANK YOU. Someone who actually reads my records before talking to me! Now I don’t know if it’s just what she would have done anyways, or if it was because the stillbirth was at this practice so they had the big fat record from his pregnancy there, but whatever the case, I am thankful. I immediately exhaled the breath I’d been holding, waiting for the inevitable question.

Once the history was done she looked through my labs. As of the beginning of this pregnancy when blood was drawn I was not anemic, possibly due to me already being on iron supplements (I was anemic with Devin). There was a lot of “immune to…” and “negative”s. We both got a brief chuckle out of my lab history (all of which is in their computer system) because, as I pointed out to her, after my loss they tested me for everything under the sun and then some. She also managed to find my NT scan results, which show very low risk, 1:10,000 risk for Downs. She also mentioned that I can do the rest of the AFP testing for neural tube defects but that I have until 22 weeks to do that and a lot of women just wait until after their anatomy scan to see if anything needs further testing. Considering if I got the test done now I wouldn’t even get results back until after the scan, I just shrugged and said I’d wait.

Now about this pregnancy and how I will be monitored and tested, she doesn’t yet know what they are going to want to do. I told her that Dr. M. was the one who had gone over Devin’s autopsy results with us, he’s one of the head maternal-fetal doctors. So what the Midwives are going to do is ask Dr. M. for his specific recommendations for me this pregnancy and will follow whatever he says. While I am a little unsettled by not knowing the plan for another month when I go back in, I am really thrilled that they will be consulting directly with Dr. M. about my pregnancy! He happens to be a Dr that Den knows through work, and is someone that he really looks up to and has a huge amount of respect for. He was also fabulous to us both after Devin’s death, he spent a long time going over everything with us, and even called me directly when they found the cause of death. I am very sure that Den is going to be very relieved that he’ll be involved.

Finally I hopped up on the table and she brought out the doppler. Baby is hiding down low today, but the heartbeat was loud and strong in the 150’s. She let me hear it for a few minutes. ;)

All in all I absolutely loved the Midwife. Her whole demeanor put me at ease immediately (well, as much as I can be at any baby appointment). She felt relaxed and at ease, not at all in a rush though I know they are busy. She spent half an hour with me. I really like how she acknowledged the loss in a respectful manner, without being overly touchy-feely about it. I know everyone deals with it differently, but that’s very much how I am about my loss: straightforward, honest, but I don’t get weepy or emotional about it when I talk about him (most of the time). I felt comfortable with her, like I could trust her.

So I booked my next appointment with her, in 4 weeks. Yes that’s a long time, but since I have my ultrasound in between I’m okay with that. If Dr. M. does recommend a monthly ultrasound I’m hoping to schedule that in between regular appointments so I have something every 2 weeks, until we get into third tri and high monitoring.

All in all I’m feeling really good right now – I won’t be 100% sure about switching to the Midwives until I find out what monitoring they will be doing, but as of right now I’m happy.