Finding the heartbeat, but otherwise missing the mark
Today I had my 14-week appointment, my first appointment with the actual doctor. I did have to wait until nearly the end of my appointment, but finally he pulled out the doppler and I got to hear my little bub’s heart beating away. My heart was racing by that point so I actually had to do a little mental check to make sure it wasn’t my heartbeat we were hearing, but it definitely wasn’t. It wasn’t that much faster than mine, though. (Mine was probably over 100 by that point. If I had to guess I’d say bub’s was at around 140 – but don’t take my word on that.)
As elated as I am by the confirmation that the bubs is indeed alive and well inside my uterus, the entire appointment left me a little cold. The doctor was fine, the nurse was nice, but… it’s just fine. Is fine enough? I found myself really missing the conversations I would have with the midwives. Not long, not in-depth, but they’d ask me how I was doing. They’d talk to me while they were listening to the heartbeat.
And then there was the fun of scheduling… getting passed from desk to desk, being told my next appointment (with a nurse, in 4 weeks, WTF?). I’m still feeling extremely frustrated that my doctor is only in on Wednesdays and Fridays, and the nurses only take appointments on Wednesdays. I work at an office job 3 out of 5 days of the week, and those of course are two of the days. That is just irritating. Especially when the doctor said that to help with my anxiety I could come in more frequently for a quick nurse appointment – on a Wednesday. I can’t take that much time off. That’s part of the reason I work part-time in the first place… it gives me time to fit all my appointments and stuff in around my other job’s flexible schedule.
I’m not technically labeled high-risk, I just will be getting more monitoring than I did last time because of my previous loss. If anything specific comes up I could become high-risk, but at this point it’s “just in case” and to help with my anxiety levels. The OB office is not planning anything with my care that the Midwives cannot do (scheduling frequent bio-physical profiles and non-stress tests after 32 weeks). I decided to go to an OB this time because I thought it would make me feel better. I’ve had three appointments now and I’m finding that maybe an OB just isn’t a good fit for me. I think I belong with Midwives.
Will you be able to transfer back to the Midwives, if that’s what you want or decide to do? *hugs*
Yeah, I shouldn’t have a problem with transferring. I may actually just book an appointment to talk to one of the midwives there to ask some questions before I officially switch. But I know from my follow-up appointment after we lost Devin that they were completely willing and able to do the extra monitoring and told me there was no reason I couldn’t still go there next pregnancy. I just got skittish and convinced myself it would be better going elsewhere.
That’s totally understandable, the feeling skittish. But if the OB isn’t doing any more than the midwives would… then, yeah. I’d go back. :)
A different OB/practice may also be better. I don’t live anywhere near you, but my OB was great throughout my entire pregnancy. I always saw him (other than one same day visit for an infection and one visit where he was out of town and I saw his partner) and he always took the time to answer my questions and address any concerns/problems I had. At any rate, I would definitely switch to either a new OB who you feel more of a connection with or back to the midwives. You see too much of your Dr. during a pregnancy to not be happy with him/her!
I can understand that. Don’t stick with someone you don’t like! My sister did that and regretted it wholeheartedly. You could always pair a doula WITH your doctor or something. I agree too that it really depends on the practice. As you’ve seen me rave before, I REALLY love my doctor and the nurses and receptionists there. They make me feel safe, secure and happy and really seem to care about me and my baby.
P.S. YAY for nausea going away! Mine I think was completely gone by 17 weeks, and man was I glad. 17 weeks of feeling like crap is a long time!