I’m feeling much better tonight. I’m still irritable and just a little upset at how things went, but I’m also not on the verge of tears or spitting nails.

First of all, my new recliner. Oh it is lovely. It fits me just right and it’s great to recline back with my laptop on my lap… it’s more comfortable than propping myself up with a million pillows in bed. I can totally see myself spending a lot of time here when pregnant – even sleeping here on those nights of heartburn or hip achiness. And then I can picture myself rocking a baby to sleep, or nursing in this chair. It’s just the right size for that. I don’t have the TV set up in here yet, but when I do it’s going to be just such a nice all-in-one spot for me. And it’s in my living room, my favorite room. I think I need a new lamp or two, though… but at least the cheap one I have is enough to read by. So for whatever reason just having my chair and rocking in it has chilled me out a little bit. It’s a nice little comfort.

The disappointing sting of lower numbers is starting to fade a little. I have to face the fact that for me 5 embryos is still really good. I’m hoping to get 4 or 5 embryos tomorrow, and that’s not really that much less than last cycle. We still have a lot of hope, a lot of promise here. We’re going to transfer 2 embryos, which gives us a pretty good chance of getting pregnant. And if that happens then who the hell cares how many eggs we got? The cycle that gave us Devin I had 13 eggs retrieved, only 1 mature, 1 embryo… and I got pregnant. The end result is all that matters. Having frozen embryos would be nice, but I have to remind myself that it is not the goal of the cycle… it’s just a nice bonus, if we get lucky.

But we have 5 good eggs. I think that’s why I’m so calm tonight. Last night was really rough because of all the unknowns… tonight I have a good idea of where we’re sitting this time. Tomorrow we will know more.