The Time is Now
I’ve realized that all my life I’ve been making the mistake of planning for the future based entirely off of the present’s wants/needs. It’s really quite arrogant, thinking that I know what my future self will want in 2 years, 5 years, 10 years…. but I constantly let that image of the future dictate my choices now. It can be something as mundane as furniture placement to bigger life decisions like a career. Yes, I get frustrated by how I should lay things out based on furniture that i do not yet own, nor will I own for quite some time. Yesterday I had a little laugh at myself and realized what an idiotic thing that one was… especially since we can move furniture. And do I really think that I’m not going to want to move things around in 5 years anyways?
I realize that a lot of people have problems focusing too much on the short-term and do not plan well. I am not one of those people. I am so far-sighted I constantly trip over my feet. I have to continually remind myself to let go. The question shouldn’t be what will I want in 10 years… the question is, what will work best right now? Let’s just deal with today’s problems as they come. It’s a lot easier to handle that way, rather than trying to take on the whole entire big picture at the same time.
I need to do more things that just simply make me happy.
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First lupron shot is complete. In my head I have been very quietly counting down to this day, this first injection. Yet when it came I layed in bed, staring at the clock, knowing it was time… and there was a hesitation to get up, to walk over there. I’m just taking it one day at a time. The IVF cycle still seems a good distance away. I’m not sure I’m ready yet to admit that it’s here. At the same time, though, there has been enough waiting.
One day at a time is good, definitely good.
As is doing things that make you happy.
Be sure to not allow your future plans to dictate the here and now. Because in looking back in say 5 yrs from now, when reflecting on your past(the now present), you may find yourself upset for not letting go a bit more, enjoying it a little more. I know, I know, its hard to find a good middle ground, and its far easier said than done. one day,minute and second at a time.
I agree with crazy horse.
When I was younger I used to fervently believe that the best was still to come. That my future would be somehow “better” than my present. That’s not always the case.
Remember that old saying “Life is what happens whilst you’re making plans”.
Try and find enjoyment in the now.
Hope that you can find that pleasure in the now. I think it’s certainly the happier way to go (and I say this as someone who has a LOT of problems letting go of the future and staying wrapped up in the past…present, what’s that?). Hmmm, I’m not so bad as that furniture thing, though! ;)
First shot. First step. Hard when there is so much emotion linked to the cycle. Wishing you all of the best as the roller coaster begins. {{{HUGS}}}
Nat, I think this is just such a profound post. I have been thinking about impermanence myself a lot, and how much stock I put into the idea that things are not changing, and then they change. Losing my daughter is just one piece of that for me. Still, I think you are on to something when say that you are looking for things to make you happy in the now, even if that means a non-future friendly furniture layout. With much love.
It’s so hard to remember to live in the now when so much of what the now is based on will affect the futures. Sending you tons of good thoughts for this cycle.
lol I do the same thing with furniture! Congrats on the first step. You’re on your way now!
It is darn hard to remember to be in the here and now, but that is all we ever have. I have been told time and again, just be happy now. It is a journey, for sure. Acknowledging the importance of this is a first step too. Pretty much everything we do and all the dreams we have are for the reason that we think we will be happy when we get there. It is easier to just be happy now- and it may even make the journey less wrought with struggle. Now if I can only take my own advice…
I am wishing you all the best for this cycle.
I have my moments…. I’m doing better now than in the past but I seem to swing back and forth…
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