No more birth control pills!! I am very excited about that, and really hoping that my moods will get back to normal. If they don’t, well, either me or Den is going to snap soon, and I have no idea who it will be. I don’t even know why I’m so cranky, I just am. Oh it’s aweful.

Also I’m getting sick. It’s that crappy feeling that something is coming, but it’s just not there yet. It started Wednesday with a throat “thing” in the morning, and it’s just hanging around. It hasn’t exploded into anything yet, but I can just feel something off in my sinuses and throat. So now it’s just a matter of waiting to see what it does… I’m hoping my immune system kicks it out. Hoping.

But no, tonight the sinuses are not behaving at all. Allergies + virus? Looks like I’m in for a rough night.

::

Today we were at a large family party. It was fun because I had forgotten that most of the extended family out here had not seen me with my shorter hair, and they were all doing double-takes when they saw me. Plus I’ve lost some weight and am fitting into a smaller size, so I’m feeling very pleased with myself. (Not so pleased after the pigging out I did tonight, though. That isn’t going to help keep me in smaller pants!) I guess I kind of have the feeling of, I’m not pregnant, I don’t have a cute baby in my arms (like many others there tonight), so at least I can have a good looking body, goddamnit. It’s not much of a recompense – I’d trade in a second, but it’s something to hold tight to, that all is not lost.

I noticed that I don’t really react to the babies like I used to. They are less elephants in the room as… raccoons. Kind of unusual, and you do want to go and look, but it’s not this big huge thing anymore.

My chiropractor was there, though – she is friends of friends. Very nice lady, I like her a lot as a person and as a doctor… but she’s also one of the few who knew I was pregnant. Whom I haven’t seen yet. So she comes up to me and says I look fantastic, asks how I am with a big smile. I shake my head and say, “Actually… not so good, no.” She knew what I meant immediately and blurted out, “Oh no! That’s just shitty!” Then she paused and said, “That’s not very professional.” I told her she wasn’t acting in a professional capacity today, so it was perfectly acceptable, lol. She gave me a hug and asked me how I was doing at work with all of this. And she said we’d talk at my appointment next week.

Just such a nice person. Going to the chiropractor isn’t just about my back. She’s a very earthy person, their office always has some soft meditation music playing and every appointment she comes in and we chat… it’s like a little time-out for the week. While she’s working I have to really focus on relaxing my muscles and letting stress go, and honestly if there was nothing more done than just that it would be worth it. And I noticed my back doesn’t hurt half as much as it used to, which is extremely exciting for me.

She’s such a motherly personality… you can tell she was meant for that profession. Not a doctor in a white coat, but a slightly alternative path, but helping others, nurturing others. Not only does she help my spine back into place, but in a little way she helps my soul, too.