The day Zeeke assploded
What is the last thing you want to find at 3am? I’ll go with… dog diarrhea. All over the bedroom. We woke up, I said, “I think your dog puked.” He turned on the light, and we said… what the FUCK? Nasty, nasty, large amounts of diarrhea. From a german shepherd. That’s a large amount of shit. So there we were, half-naked and half-asleep, running out of paper towel and gagging helplessly. We sprayed the Oust and crawled back into bed, muttering, and fell back asleep.
Den woke up again at 5am. I was asleep. I woke up when he said, “He did it again! And it’s all over this stuff! Ugggghhhhh!!” You know those moments where you want to squeeze your eyes shut and fall back asleep and maybe you didn’t hear what you just did? Instead I sat up as Den was picking up some bag that had been in front of our closet and rushed it outside. I heard the hose turn on. I got up to wipe up the rest. Then Den took Zeeke out for a walk, because more than likely he wasn’t done (he wasn’t). My dog, Zoe, was very upset with this, because daddy always takes both dogs out in the morning and she thought she had been forgotten. I shushed her and told her to wait her turn. I mean, hello, extenuating circumstances here.
Den jumped in the shower, Zeeke was locked in Zoe’s crate so we could monitor him, and Zoe flings herself off the bed in typical Zoe fashion. I hear the clank of the water bowl and see a cascade of water fly up into the air. Oh you’ve got to be kidding me. Water ALL over the floor and on the corner of the bed. I grabbed some towels and set to mopping it all up. I pressed on the puddle on the bed with the towel and suddenly I realized, this is warm. On the floor is water. On the bed? PEE.
As I was cleaning that up I noticed Zeeke licking his lips. I let him out of the crate so he could run into the living room to throw up. Which he did. Den cleaned that up while I stripped the bed. And then we laughed, because we know, this is one of those days… you either laugh or cry.
We have no bed, Zeeke has no crate, there are things all over our lawn, the house stinks, we’ve gone through an entire roll of paper towel, and it is only 6am.
We’re hoping the cats don’t join in.
(Note: Zeeke gets sick easily… we have no idea what he got into this time, but he has an extremely sensitive stomach – he gets diarrhea every time we switch dog food brands, for crying out loud. So at this point we’re not too concerned about him… just have to wait for his system to flush itself out and calm down.)
Shit.
(Obvious reaction, huh. Sounds like our house. Our one dog who thinks socks and crayons are delicacies that we need to rediscover at 3 a.m. is now on an oatmeal-based food, and it seems to work really well. Just a thought. Poor doggie, and poor you! I keep saying, next life — no pets.)
lol Tash, yeah, we were laying in bed (after the first episode), thinking about how great we’d sleep if we had no pets. LOL And Zeeke won’t be eating much for a while… it always takes a couple days for his stomach to settle.
Lol. Been there many times. My male cat is like that. All you can do is look at him and think REALLY?
And he water loads so then he pukes water all over in the early hours if I forget to empty the bowl before bed.
Oh my goodness! What a day for you!
Holy crap!
Thanks for your wonderful posts. I have been thinking of you these past couple of days and think you are very good at expressing what you’re going through. Thank you for sharing your experience.
I’m cringing for you. So sorry luv!!!
Oh my God Nat. I am laughing OUT LOUD at my desk and my coworkers are looking at me funny. I only laugh at your pain because I have SO been there. I currently have 10 foster kittens that are in between their mom cleaning up after them, and using the litter box (about 3 weeks old). My house is all shit, all the time. We finally had to create kitten jail (a pen) to just contain the mess. And the mom? Pooed (pood?) all over my bathroom sink an amazing amount considering her size and yes…diarrea. My lucky husband found that at 3am this morning. Not to mention my 2 chihuauas, 5 adult cats, and 2 rabbits. I think I’m losing my mind. lol Pee puke and shit before 6am? It’s another day at the Russell household.
I am laughing and crying for you! I am on the verge of adopting my second dog and this post made me think twice. Not for too long though, because aren’t they always worth it – no matter the trouble? Dogs are just simply the best. But they do have their moments. I always thought it would get us ready for parenthood. If that’s true you guys and me and my DH will certainly be ready WHEN it happens to us.
omg..i dont know whether i should cry or laugh…you know they do say our animals are just like our children LMAO so hunny get used to it hahahaha…it sucks…my son has puked in my bed many times(asthma attacks..coughing up alot of phlem) or just puking because of the extremely high fever he had…then having a VERY red bum(forming scabs) so i let him run around without a diaper and just before he poos i had just finished putting a diaper on…overall they are amazing….the joy of life it really sucks.. i swear it does…