Changes
So my instructions on my voicemail from the nurses are to drop my dose of follistim down to 75iu and come back Sunday morning. I asked the nurse why they decided to drop me down, and she mentioned that my E2 had taken a big jump and they want to play conservative, take it slow to make sure my big group of follicles grows together, and not risk OHSS. But when I plugged my E2 numbers into my little graph the numbers from last cycle and this cycle are almost identical. So on one hand I’m seeing us diverge now from the path we took last time and I am very very nervous.
I know in many ways last cycle was certainly not ideal – and that’s something I need to keep reminding myself of – but it worked right? I am very very leery of messing around with anything. I’m of the mind to just follow exactly the same route, that it will get me back to the same place: pregnant.
However there are some major flaws with that method of thinking. My body is not the same as it was. And there are always going to be fluctuations every cycle – environmental, physical, or fluke… nothing is ever the same twice. This is particularly obvious when you look at how many follicles I have this time. This was exactly the same protocol as last time up until today, but the ultrasound shows a different picture.
I know I need to trust them – they’ve done this a million times and certainly know how better to tweak dosages than I do. The nurses at my clinic really are fabulous and I love them. I’m just… scared. Scared that by diverging from the path we are taking a wrong turn. But if we never diverge we will never have the chance at anything better. Maybe this is what we need to do to get more than one embryo.
For right now all I can do is wait and see. I go in Sunday morning.
It’s hard to put all that trust in the hands of other people. We know so much about our bodies and cycles and what works and doesn’t, it is tough not being the one in control. I am feeling very hopeful for you. Hope you get great news Sunday.
Faith is hard for us atheists. (HUGS)
Faith is hard for ANYONE. But you are right that last time was not exactly ideal, except in the fact that it worked. You know my fingers (and everything else) are crossed, I truly hope they are steering you in the right direction!
Delurking with a possibly stupid question/comment.
Just out of curiosity, if your eggs aren’t entirely mature when they do the retrieval, can your clinic do IVM (In-Vitro Maturation) with them? I don’t know much about the process, and it might not be appropriate for your situation at all, but if they can tell that the early trigger wasn’t quite enough, maybe it might help?
MW
I know it is hard to stray from the course that gave you Devin, but I do remember you being so disappointed with the cycle that gave you Devin and you were convinced that there was no chance you could be pregnant and look it happened anyways! It sounds like your clinic is doing everything in their power to make this the one and only IVF cycle you will need for your next baby. I know it is hard but it sounds like they deserve your confidence!
thinking of you and sending you good thoughts….good luck with this cycle!!
it is hard when things are not the same. and it’s hard to trust anyone to make such important decisions about, really, your future. hang in there. you are so amazing and i know you’ll get there…
thinking of you…you are one step closer everyday to becoming pregnant…i was thinking, could they implant you with more than one embryo??
Relaxing may not make babies but it might make you feel better in the moment.you are in great hands and might be pregnant by christmas. Wishing you the best…
Crossing toes and fingers and everything else here – Arno and I hope that you’ll get the most wonderful christmas present ever.