Sick
So homesick I could puke. I hate my life right now. I don’t have the house I want, I don’t have the family I want, I don’t have the job I went to school to get. I feel like a collosal failure. Not just that I had it and lost it… but that I never had it in the first place. I consistently fail to get there. I know I’m still young at 26 and have a long ways to go, but I would think at this point that at least I would be closer than this. I want to go home and curl up on my old bed and cry for a good long time… that’s what I want to do.
I’m really sorry you feel this way. The only thing that works for me is shutting out the outside world for a while (baths, books, cups of tea, rubbish TV, bed) and then *forcing* myself back out into the world a day or two later.
I really hope you feel better soon. Be good to yourself.
xx Mrs F
I totally understand hun. *hugs*
*hugs*
I am here if you need to talk. :)
I’m glad you posted that. You described how I feel a lot of the time. I often feel like my life should be different…better. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone.
*hugs* for you
oh wow, Nat. I don’t know if I’ll say this right or not but I think in many ways I still feel that way about certain aspects of my life. ESPECIALLY when I lived in California, 2000 miles away from my family in Texas. It was agonizing, but things worked out and Craig was willing to follow me back here. However, I know that I would have still had a good life in California, though certainly days would come where I’d wonder if I’d somehow missed things I shouldn’t have.
I want to let you know that I followed a link you posted to Curtis’ moms blog and through both of you I am remembering that when I’m struggling with issues with one of my kids (its usually Austin, now 21) that I need to not get caught up in feeling bad for myself. I tend to do that… thrown some major pity parties! You both are dealing with so much and I just hope that maybe at some point I’ll be able to find some word or sentence that might bring you some comfort.
I am sick of people telling me I am young, to just let time heal the wounds. But you know what, being young doesn’t make everything magically better. It doesn’t bring back what was lost. Sometimes you just have to let yourself feel what you’re feeling to get through it. {{{Hugs}}}