Family support
Last night at the party Den’s dad asked me, “So with this new job, it has insurance right? Does that mean you get another two tries?” I leaned forward and replied, “Actually, from what I’ve read, I get unlimited tries.” His face looked shocked and then so excited. “Really?? Oh my god. That’s terrific. Wow, just… oh I’m so glad!!” He also asked if we have any left over from last time to put back or if we have to go through all of it again – he nodded gravely when I said no, we have nothing left over. I was a little amused that he even knew that much about IVF. It seems the family members remember more though I thought.
Other family members were checking in with me to make sure that the insurance is still going through and asking if we have plans to do another cycle. They’re all so excited. You can tell from their voice, from their face. They cannot wait to hear good news for us and they all understand the struggles we have been through. They know it requires a lot for us to get pregnant.
Maybe some people wouldn’t welcome the questions, wouldn’t want everyone knowing when we will be going through it. But I appreciate it. I appreciate their support. I know they all care so much.
If, light forbid, we have another loss they will all be right beside us, crying with us. And when they day comes that we birth a live child they will all be gathered in the hospital room to greet that child, crying with joy, knowing how very much it required for him or her to arrive.
And I can’t wait for that day – so that we can celebrate as well… I think it’s sweet that Den’s dad knew so much…
It’s great to have such a wonderful support group…
Think how much more that baby will be loved knowing how badly he/she was wanted…
I really feel so good that you feel this way about family support. My brother lost his daughter to stillbirth at 41 weeks (on induction day) and I feel so helpless in my ability to help them through this. They also suffered from infertility (took 4 years to conceive) and are currently TTCing again with difficulty. Your images of your family gathered by you when your next child is born is such a comforting one – I know that will be an unbelievably joyous day for everyone in your family! I too hope for such a moment sometime soon for ours.
I keep reading your posts.. we are pretty close with our cycles…you’re due for yours around the time i finish and yet i still hope some miracle happens for you guys that you write you got a BFP…that way you wouldn’t have to wait so long but as crazy as it is.. the time is nearing and I can’t wait to read you get your BFP…your story is just so touching and i can’t even begin to imagine what you go through…I feel for you and Den…I truly thing Devin is watching over you guys and he will protect his sibling…you both deserve many more chances at being parents, especially experiencing the joy of holding your live baby one day. I don’t know you but i can tell, you guys are one of those couples that REALLY REALLY deserve to have kids..you both have soo much love for Devin and you will for all those others to follow:) Good luck! I can’t wait until you get into the IVF…get that BFP…
so you know you have your family, but you also have people out there you don’t know who also care..:)
I read some good info in a magazine, http://www.conceiveonline.com. in the fall 2008 edition. “the nonprofit international council on infertility information dissemination (INCIID) has teamed up with fertility drug manufacturer EMD serono and BabyBeat, makers of fetal dopplers, to offer it’s “From INCIID the Heart” program, which gives a FREE cycle of in vitro fertilization, including most medications, to those who otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford treatment. The scholarships are open to any member (annual dues are at least $55) who has recieved a medical diagnosis of IF, no medical coverage for IVF, and can show financial need….”
http://www.inciid.org or call 703-379-9178
application accepted year round.
Shilpa – I am SURE that your support means the world to your brother, even if it feels like there’s nothing you’re actively doing. Just knowing about his daughter and grieving is so very very helpful. If you ever want to ask questions about anything about your brother and how they might feel about something, I’m always willing to chat by email!
Cynthia – Absolutely. We have a wonderful network of support, family and friends and people who hardly even know us. We’ve really been touched by everyone reaching out to us.
Deena – Thanks for posting that information! I am lucky enough to live in a state with mandated coverage but I KNOW there are friends of mine who could use something like that. I’ll be sure to pass it on!
I can think of one other person that will be “there” (as close as you can get to being there through the internet)…me. And I’m sure I’m not the only one. It breaks my heart what you have been/are going through. If there is anything I can do, please let me know.