Black cloud
Getting drunk worked. I now feel pretty sick, actually. I may have to stop drinking if this continues to be the case… I never used to feel this backlash before I got pregnant. Now my body just does not respond well to alchohol. Ugh.
In the course of the evening we were all sitting around with good friends. One of them isn’t a close friend of Den’s, but a longtime friend of his brother – so, not close enough to know about Devin. I was saying something about religion to the effect of, “I’ve had some people say, ‘God saved my baby!’ – what, does that mean he didn’t like anyone else’s?” This friend, obviously completely clueless, said, “But yours survived! So it’s all good.” Den responded in a very matter-of-fact tone with, “Actually, ours didn’t.” The friend looked MORTIFIED. I think he mumbled, “Oh shit. So sorry, man.” Then stared at the floor for the next five minutes. Den and I looked at each other and proceeded to try to let the guy know that it was okay, that he didn’t know. It took a while to get him to re-join the conversation. I think we totally ruined his night. I’m pretty sure he was willing the floor to open up and eat him.
Yay us. Bringing death and depression everywhere we go since 2008. Sigh.
I feel like I should come with a warning sign. “Hi, I’m Natalie. Just to let you know, we had a baby who died. … You may now resume normal conversation.”
nothing like feeling the air sucked right out of the room, I know.
Ummm… I hear you. However, this particular dude, with this particular attitude of “if you are on the side that wins, it’s all good,” he was going to step into it sooner or later. Now maybe he won’t, again. Though it must’ve sucked donkey balls for you just then.
That’s true. However I’ll point out that we were all drunk and not exactly in our best rational capacity. LOL!
I feel like I should have that disclaimer too. It’s almost funny how uncomfortable most people seem now at the mere mention of her name.
CLC – I’ve discovered that the people I really want to be around now are the ones who don’t flinch or look uncomfortable at Devin’s name… the ones who will talk with me about him. The rest I can only be around for a short time before it gets draining.
Oh holy crap . . . .
bleh, maybe i am mean but i think he deserved it. people cant say that crap so nonchalantly, especially when talking about religion in regards to bad or good things happening to people.
maybe i am spiteful but i think he got what was coming to him feeling like an ass for a bit.
Ugh, sorry, I know that had to be uncomfortable for everyone involved.
I’ve heard the same sort of thing in regards to moms of kids with cancer. And some saying “my child survived, he was a fighter and really wanted to live”. And um…what? The kids who didn’t make it weren’t fighers? They didn’t want to live too?
It sounds great until you’re the one on the shit side of the odds.