End result of the medications: feeling lots better! However, will likely NOT be taking anything with codeine in it again. At first I thought it was just coincidental… I took the Tussionex before bed on Thursday. I got a full night’s sleep. That right there was worth it! I actually didn’t get sleepy like the doctor said I would, but 2 hours later I did get tired on my own and was able to sleep. I slept way in the next day, went to work… and dragged my ass. I was nodding off all day, even though I had slept a long time. Regardless, I thought I’d try it again, see what happened. Guess what happened? Slept all night! And… most of the day. And then was fighting to stay awake the rest of the day. It’s now 10pm and I’m finally feeling clear-headed. Hrmph. That’s irritating. That’s why I wasn’t posting… I couldn’t wade through my thoughts enough to write something.

I am feeling much better though. I know the medication wasn’t to help it heal, but rather to let me sleep… and it did that part really well. I think the virus was on its way out already. It’s nice that I’m starting to feel human again!

::

With being sick all week I didn’t exercise at all; there were some days that rolling out of bed seemed like far too much effort. But I guess I hadn’t really been eating as much either, as my weight continues its trend downward. And you know what today marks? My first week at lower than pre-pregnancy weight! Actually today I weighed in at exactly 140lbs. Holy crap! I know it’s going to jump up a little bit now that I’m not sick, but that’s still totally cool. When the numbers hit the one 130s I’m going to start shrieking with joy.

::

I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching this week, feeling miserable and trying to figure out what I need to do to make this better. And I decided I need to go back to school. I need to immerse myself in something interesting, something worthwhile… I need to challenge my mind.

I’m also going to be pursuing my doula education, going to workshops and whatever I can. I also will be attending either the AFA Infertility Conference in October in NYC or the Resolve of the Bay State conference, also in October, Marlborough MA. I doubt I can afford both, but I am absolutely going to one of them.

That’s what got me started thinking about school. I realize I love these conferences, I love workshops… why? Knowledge! Learning, growing, taking things in on a topic that interests me. And eventually the thought came around to, well, let’s find somethinig else I want to learn. The non-credit courses are a crock (how to get out of debt?), but the credit courses sound fascinating. That’s when I realized I want to go back to college!

I have a Bachelor’s Degree in Computer Information Systems. I could do a lot with that, if I wanted to. But one thing I regret, and something that Den feels I missed out on, was a general education. My degree is completely technical. I had all my program required courses – computers with some communications and math – and some electives. No college core courses. And I feel I could really benefit from a broadened education on many different topics.

I have always been interested in Philosophy and Psychology, and that hasn’t changed. But now I’m also reading the course descriptions for some Biology courses with great interest. Topics such as Human Reproduction and Embryology sound really, really cool. I’m a bit nervous about taking Biology, yes I am… it’s something I’ve always steered far away from. But I feel it all matters, especially after learning as much as I have on my own about infertility. I like that kind of stuff, believe it or not.

So on Monday hubby and I are heading over to the local college to find out what I need to do to get registered and figure out how much of my previous education (which was completed in Canada) will transfer. I don’t have a lot outside of computers, but I do have some Philosophy and Mathematics courses that I hope I don’t have to repeat.

I’ve always known I wanted to go back to school at some point, but I figured it was “in the future.” After raising kids and all, when I got a chance to. But, well, the kids part is taking a lot longer than I ever expected, and I realized I can’t just putting things off waiting for “when I have kids.” I have tons of exciting, great plans for when we HAVE a baby… ways to keep occupied, things to do. I’ll have something wonderful to focus on. But right now I don’t have that and I’m going a little crazy. It can’t be my whole world.