Little Challenges
I’ve gotten used to grocery shopping. Today while in the grocery store I realized I wasn’t constantly thinking about how I used to be grocery shopping with a big pregnant belly. Enough time has passed that it’s not on my mind all the time; I feel more like me in my old body. Me as I am, not as I should have been.
However… however. It was friday evening and it was busy – way busier than I’m used to. (I usually do my grocery shopping in the mornings.) Lots of people meant lots of kids… lots and lots of kids.
I didn’t really notice at first. I’ve gotten good at turning my head to avoid looking, at tuning my thoughts out so I don’t hear a child babbling. I just hunker down behind my grocery cart and plod on quickly out of sight. But today there were just too damn many of them. Every time I turned a corner there were 5 year olds darting in front of my cart with siblings, or a 2 year old hanging onto his mother’s hand, wailing. I could tell it was wearing on me. By the end of my shopping trip I felt absolutely frazzled. I was trying not to forget anything off my mental list, but the chidrens’ cries and shouts were peircing holes in my concentration. I gripped my cart’s bar a little tighter, hunkered down a little lower. My eyes were fixed directly in front of me, trying not to look.
I was getting angry. Very bitter, very angry. All I wanted to do was buy food and get home to make dinner. That’s all… just some grocery shopping. But no, I can’t do this simple thing without being bombarded by taunts and reminders. Yet another child ran in front of my cart and I had the urge to ram my cart into him. So angry. Get out of my way. Leave me alone. Stop running around in a fucking grocery store. It’s not a playground. I didn’t, of course. I never would. But I’d be lying if I said the thought didn’t cross my mind.
As I stood waiting in the check-out line for the bored teenager to ring me up, a toddler in the next aisle over was screaming. The sound sat on my chest, pushing the breath out of me. “Peek-a-boo! Peek-a-boo!” said the mother. “Wha’s that? Nooo, baby don’t push the button. Silly baby! Silly baby!” The teenaged cashier handed me my receipt and thanked me. I forced a short, cold smile and fled.
Damn, I am sorry. This sounds like a prime evening for a white russian.
That’s a tough one – sometimes you just want to hunker down on a deserted island somewhere. I hope your weekend goes smoother and much quieter.
I so know the feeling. Here in Cairo there are kids EVERYWHERE! Everywhere you go KIDS KIDS and more KIDS! So much is centered around kids, almost every aspect of daily life really. Even the malls have playgrounds for kids, people bring their kids eveywhere, theres nothing wrong with it. I love kids, tryin’ to have one of my own now, but sometimes it can wreck your nerves, espcially when trying to just shop and get out. So i can understand how you felt…anyway hope the rest of youre weekend is good and screaming, rambunctious kid free.
I’ve been there. . . Still am some days. And’s it’s just awful. You feel like they are louder in your head.
I have half an idea. I feel that way sometimes – kids or just too many people. :P I always try to shop at off hours to avoid it. And I don’t have the trauma you’ve been through. :( *hugs*
And that is what I HATE about the grocery store. I’ve had that experience too, everywhere I turned there was a pregnant belly or a baby. I hated having to pretend that I was okay when I wasn’t.
At times I get off work late and get home around midnight…it’s the absolute best time to shop. It’s just you and the stockers.
Really I think they should have hours — hours for when people over 85 shop, hours for when singles shop, hours for when mothers with small kids shop. I’m not sure which I hate worse, seeing the mom with the baby, or seeing the mom screaming at her two children for doing something totally within the bounds of normal behavior, and you know she’s just looking at you thinking “You’re so lucky.” And you’re looking at her thinking “you don’t know how lucky you are.”
Shopping shouldn’t be like that.
Been there too. I’m sorry. (((hugs)))