Spring
Oh my goodness, the weather is just perfect. This has got to be my favorite time of year, weather-wise… the sun is shining, though not enough to burn my delicate, pale skin; the temperature is warm enough to wear short-sleeves and summer dresses, without making you sweat; the breeze whispers through the windows that are now open. Everyone in the house is enjoying it – the cats especially love having the windows open so they can sit pressed up against the screens and breathe in the outside world. Sometimes they chitter as they sit there, talking to themselves in excitement. I can understand why. I’m laying on the bed, windows open, shades halfway open, just sort of drinking it in as the breeze floats through the room, pushing the shades in to let a burst of sunlight shine in. It’s glorious.
Of course, it occurs to me that I should be laying here with my son…. this truly would be the perfect season for a newborn baby. But strangely enough, those thoughts are getting less painful. Still painful, yes… but less than before.
*hugs*
I love opening up the windows to let the fresh air in… and it’s good to hear those thoughts are becoming less painful!
It was a beautiful day here too, and while it’s definitely a mood lifter, I couldn’t help but think that I should be walking my baby around the neighborhood. I wish the day would come when every thought is not somehow related to my baby that should have been, and not because I want to forget her, but I just miss being happy. Didn’t mean to ramble about myself, my point was that I relate to this post.
CLC – I don’t mind you rambling! I know what you mean about missing being happy…. I miss being truly happy and not always having that “but…” in there :(
Nat, I hope that the onset of good weather will soothe some of the pain inside. I think you, like me, are a summerchild – we thrive on sunlight (though we also burn ;) ). I wish you a breezy, warm, sundappled spring in which you can set the first steps towards healing together with Den.
spring last year killed me. Seemed like everyone could enjoy it and see the beauty except me. It was like I was blind.
My little brother’s birthday is March 20, and even as a little girl, I always thought it was so cool that his birth came with the new life of spring. I used to love spring, but between my mom and my sons, it’s become a painful reminder of loss. I am trying to trust that it lessens with time.
So glad it seems to be easing for you.