Religion
I am happy to say that most people are respectful and understanding. But to the few who aren’t…
Apparently I need to state this outright, which is a little sad in and of itself: I have a religion; I do not need yours.
I feel that I have a right to express my religious beliefs, to talk about them, here on my own blog – without people trying to convince me that I am wrong and there are better ways out there. I don’t think the people who do that really realize how rude they are being. Well here, let me put it out there for you: IT’S RUDE. It’s disrespectful. Before you post about your religion, take a good look at what you are trying to say. Ask yourself why you’re posting. If you are trying to convince me about your religion/beliefs… if you’re thinking “Well if only she knew about ___ then she’d understand”… if you think you can “save” me from hell or grief and show me a better way… then stop.
I do not go around to other peoples’ blogs and tell them that I think their belief in god is unfounded and, really, they’d be better off if they tossed it aside and became an Athiest. I do not go into someone else’s blog and, when they are talking about how their god is helping them through tough times, tell them all the evidence that I believe disproves a god. Or I don’t go in there and tell them all about the wonder of Zeus, or how if they just tried really hard to pray to Athena that she would save them. I just don’t do it! It’s rude! I have many friends of many different religions. I am just happy if they find peace with their beliefs, if they are kind, compassionate people, if they are good friends. I post supportively and let them find their own faith. It’s none of my business what god they believe in or don’t. I expect the same courtesy.
I don’t know why it is so hard for some people to grasp or accept. I am an Athiest. I have always been an Athiest. I do not believe in Allah or Shiva or Yaweh or Zeus or “God.” You may believe that one of those exists and that I am going to hell if I do not pray to get saved. I don’t care. I don’t believe in your hell, or your savior, and I am not worried about it. If you are so worried for me about this you can pray for me and whatever else you want to do. You can talk with people who share your beliefs about how sad it is that I don’t believe. Whatever. Just don’t come to my space and preach to me. I don’t want to hear it. It’s never changed my mind, it’s not going to change my mind, and it will only piss me off in the meantime. I’m pretty sure that is not the effect people are going for.
I am just quite flabbergasted that some people just don’t get that they are being undeterminably disrespectful to other religions.
Couldn’t have sad that better myself.
Kudos!
You’re 100% right, Nat.
very well said.
Ugh, I’m surprised (and yet not) that some would use YOUR blog and YOUR space to evangelize their own faith. If anything, when I read your post I felt very strongly that each of us should be given space to find our own spiritual perspective. But, because I felt that was pretty self-evident I had no need to reply.
AMEN! Oddly enough as I was reading this post, a person came to our door, but he was really nice and didn’t harass us, which is sort of refreshing.
I think you should start believing in the flying spaghetti monster. God AND delicious food at the same time! Brilliant!
*hugs* Sorry you had rude people, hon :(
Damn straight. :|
So perfectly said. I have always been “ashamed” or “embarrassed” to be atheist, and its because of people like that. It’s a belief, the same as any other, and you (we) are entitled to that belief without strangers trying to convinve you otherwise. Particularly after suffering such a tragedy, I’m amazed when others can continue to believe.
I’m sorry. On behalf of all the Christians in the world who can live with our own faith, and don’t feel the need to beat other’s over the head with it, I’m sorry.
And I hope that you’ve never felt that I insisted that you believe the same as I do. I would hope that you would tell me if you did. .. .
i just wanted to say i completely agree with your last post and this one. i’ve never known what to say to people who are so sure god saved their loved one, because isn’t the corollary that he killed some other loved one?
That’s what’s hard. I came to your blog at a time of great pain in your life and I wanted you to know that someone out here was hurting with you. As a person of faith, I think I said I was praying for you. By no means was it meant to offend or disrespect you. Nor do I believe you took it that way.
But that’s what I did: I prayed you would find peace, to help you as you grieve, to allow you and Den to rely on one another. Praying that you would feel joy again.
I don’t know if that is praying to a higher power or just talking to the wind, but those were my hopes for you. And they still are.
Mary – I have absolutely no issue with people praying for me, or saying they are praying for me! I have many friends of different faiths, and I understand that them praying for me is their way of doing something to help, and that’s totally cool.
I couldn’t agree with you more. I try not to push my beliefs on to those who have a different belief. Everyone is free to choose their own path. That’s what free will is all about: freedom to choose.
I’m still praying for you for good things to come.
I have never found religion myself.. I want to say I believe in god.. but not sure that would be correct. Alot of the pagan ways are more yet suited to me than anything but yet not all applies.. I find all religions interesting but have no urge to title myself.
I didn’t even feel it was right to babtize my daughter when my MIL strongly suggested it cause I didn’t feel it was right when I want her to find her own way/path when the time is right.
what i do believe in is “to each their own” .. So if you to be “jew” or a “catholic” its no matter to me :)
Glad to see Devin’s tree is in bloom :)
I’m atheist myself; in fact, just had a conversation the other night about this and my grief. (A good one by an informed person with serious questions.) But I hear ya. I’ve been very impressed with the level of courtesy for the most part both IRL and online, but there will always be those who try to cram you into their box because otherwise I think we’re a bit alien and maybe even scary.
Nat I think your responses to the comments in the last post were respectful and honest, HOWEVER, you should not have to have taken the time to write them, this is your space not theirs.
We are all people, let’s walk together.
You’re touching on something here that has always irked me.
It’s honestly been my observation that this is a cultural problem rather than Christians trying to deliberately be rude. There’s unfortunately somewhat of a culture of isolation when it comes to the church these days… I think part of the problem is there are a lot of Christians out there (particularly teens and 20-somethings) who spent most of their childhood isolated from non-Christians… and that being the case, they never learned how to express themselves and their beliefs without attacking others.
If I see the behavior, I tend to come out and gently correct it… Both because they’re making themselves look bad and that’s strategically bad for the mission that they’re on, and because it’s incredibly annoying for me to be offended.
Nikkiana- sorry Nat I am not trying to drag the post out longer but what she said is EXACTLY right. I don’t even have a point to make, because she took the words right from my mouth, well said.
Ok, I have taken a little while to reply to your post. I really needed to take the time to think about how I was going to put my thoughts out there without upsetting everyone.
I read your last post and was not at all shocked at the response. You see (and this is where i will upset some) Im from Australia and we just dont get the way people in the US go on and on and on and on about their religion. sure many go to church, many believe and many have faith, but we just dont get how you ‘thank god’ when you win a Golden Globe award! Im sure those who go to church together or whos families are all religious might talk about their faith but I have never had to deal with others opinions about different faiths until i started blogging and reading other blogs. i have friends who believe in many different things. But they keep it to themselves. Peoples beliefs are private and unless I ask you to ‘bash me over the head with the bible’ I would rather you keep your thoughts to yourself. Dont force me to be the ‘rude person who doesnt believe in God’ to offend you with my thoughts, like you have with yours.
I do not believe in God. Thats a good thing because like i have said many times before, not believing gives me one less ‘person’ to be pissed off at over Zak dying.
I think its wonderful for those who do believe to have their faith when things get tuff but i would never tell someone who did believe in God (or someone/thing else) what I thought about their choice in religion. Like you said Nat, thats just rude.
Many tell me they are ‘praying for me’ and thats fine. If thats what they need to do Im ok with that.
When i talk to my young nieces about Zak i say ‘he’s up there with the stars’. I dont think hes in heaven but i have comfort thinking about him being up with the stars rather than a box of ashes we took to the beach and scattered. I also think for my nieces (who will make up their own minds about religion) shouldn’t have to hear my thoughts at such a young age. They are too little to understand my beliefs and the beliefs of those who have faith in god.
Nat I think your a very strong person. Devin would be so proud of you and to have you as his Mum.
You do whatever you need to do to get you through the day.
Hugs
xxx