Disappointment
Last month I was all gung-ho, but when I got my period it wasn’t unexpected. This month has been much more laid-back. So I didn’t except to feel this bad when I got a negative/spotting. (Yeah, I tested today, snow-white. That’s not definitive, but it adds more weight to the pile.) I really actually want a baby. I see pictures of Meghann’s little boy (who is so VERY cute, btw!) and I just really want that. It’s so foreign to me. But I’m really quite upset that this month didn’t work out. I don’t want to have to wait another month or who knows how long. I really hate this waiting and not knowing when it’ll happen.
it will happen, and when it does you will be floored. maybe not right away, if you have to try for a while, but the reality of it will sink in. everything before it will not matter, and it will be wonderful. :)