The kid is very… awake. I’m watching my belly roll around… if I lay my hand there I can feel his feet moving around… two smallish hard things pushing up against my hand. :) As time goes by I feel like I get to “know” him better and better. Before he was a stranger who would sometimes knock at the door to let me know he was still there. Now I can feel every movement… I know when he’s awake or asleep, and I am learning which body parts are pushing at me. The other day I was feeling the large solid part that I can only assume was his back. And it was really stunning to me to realize that I was feeling our baby with my hand. Just now as his foot is pressing hard upwards, I press downwards and feel him kick against my hand. Just a few layers of muscle and skin separate us. We can interact.

I love this kid so much already. Every week I seem to love him even more. What an amazing day it will be when we get to meet him.

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Today was birth class week 4 and we went over transition and second stage labor.

I’ve always heard of transition as such a horrible time, a big hurdle… and yet it only lasts a short while! I’m a little nervous, but I’m confident Den can keep me on-track and keep reminding me that I’m almost at the end.

We went over a lot about pushing – the best positions to push in, the worst, what your body’s doing and how to help it. She said pushing often feels good, productive, because it’s something you actively participate in – unless first stage labor when your cervix is dialating and the best thing you can do is relax and let your uterus do its job. She stressed waiting for the urge to push – which apparently happens because the baby’s head is descended so far down that it’s pressing on your rectum and gives you that need-to-poop feeling. Great huh? Clever bodies.

I have the feeling I’ll like a modified squat position for birthing… propped up in bed with pillows or held up by my husband. Of course only time will tell for that one!

We also wrote down on little cards 5 things our partner has done to prepare for the birth and one way in which they could improve. Each couple shared one positive thing they wrote. What really struck me was how close each couple was connected. I really do feel like this is a team effort for all three of the couples, and I’m sure it’s a common thread with Bradley classes (you know, with the “husband-coached childbirth” thing). I just love that we’re birthing the baby together… that the class stresses how important Den is to the process and gives him all these things to focus on and do instead of just sit there and hope for the best.

I like how they speak directly to the husbands for a lot of things. They’ll talk in great detail about what the mother’s going to be experiencing, and then they’ll point out the things the coach needs to make note of (like emotional signposts) and list some good things for them to do at that point. I just think Den is going to be such an awesome birth partner now that he knows what to expect and has some ideas of what to say or do. (Of course he knows “Shut up! And stop touching me!” will always be a valid response for me to give him, lol!)

The relaxation at the end of class was pretty typical – get in the side-laying position all propped up with my pillows, get comfortable, then focus on relaxing my body and breathing deep with my belly. The instructor went down different muscle groups, getting us to focus on one at a time and making sure there was no tension in them. What really helped the most was having Den touch each spot as we went over it. It’s one thing to think “Okay, need to relax my lower back muscles…” and another to have him gently rubbing right there. It really brings your attention to that spot and sometimes I’d find tension there that I didn’t notice before. I also made note that I tend to carry tension in my shoulders. Several times I had to intentionally relax them. I guess we’ll have to watch that one in labor (and other times too).

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I had a chiropractic appointment yesterday morning. I’ve been having them roughly every 5 days since I started – I have another on Friday and then they’ll start spacing them out more. I normally would get quite upset at having to go this frequently (we only have a copay but those add up quickly in a short time period), but I seriously feel so much better that I really can’t complain about anything. Whatever they do, it works, and that’s all I need to know right now to follow their schedule.

I did start to get a little bit of that hip pain back this past weekend – I could just feel it start niggling at me – I mentioned it yesterday and now it’s gone again. The interesting part was when she was pressing lightly on my lower back, she asked if that hurt. “Nope,” I said. She moved up my back a little at a time, massaging. Oh yeah, THEN I started feeling it. Know how I said I carry tension in my shoulders? Well everything in my upper back between my shoulder blades is SO tight it’s painful. She wasn’t touching hard or anything, but I sure felt it. She pressed sharply between my shoulder blades and I swear I heard a crack all the way up my spine. Yikes.

It’s all of course from the way my belly is throwing my center of balance off. I commented to Den today how I notice I’m leaning back further than I used to, to make up for the weight of the belly. It definitely pulls on the spine. I’ve always had a very arched back, and now it’s even worse.

A part of me really wonders what would have happened had I seen a chiropractor years and years ago, back when I had a lot of back problems. When I worked at Subway, working 8 hour shifts on my feet… adults would tell me that my body just wasn’t used to being on my feet that long, that it was normal. But I’m still pretty certain that it is not normal to come home from work, lay on your bed in tears, and be unable to move for a good hour due to the back pain. Other normal people manage to work shifts on their feet without that much of an issue – of course there’s always going to be aches and pains, but that bad? So it makes me wonder.

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Due to the very crappy sleep I’ve been getting I have been very tired and approaching “cranky.” Okay, so I was extremely cranky this morning. Despite having “things that need to get done” I ended up taking a 2-3 hour nap – I even hit the snooze button three times, which I never do. (It’s a good thing I did though – I have this habit of just turning off the alarm… and falling back asleep. Not good when you have work to get to.) Boy did that nap help reset my personality. I felt decently human again.

But, it’s time for sleep again. I hope tonight goes better than the past two nights or I’m going to get cranky again.