I guess, since we’re covered by ConnectiCare, that I should include the Connecticut laws as well – I’m not really sure which one applies:

[RESOLVE]

If this one is what our insurance is under (which I believe it is) that kind of sucks, as MA law states no limitations, unlike CT law. :/

There appear to be one RE clinic in Springfield (but gives two locations?). It’s a member of the Baycare Health Partners Physician Network – Springfield.

More…

I just flipped quickly through the chapter on prescreening for genetic disorders and discovered something I didn’t know. Huntington’s disease is an “autosomal dominant” disorder, which means it only takes one gene being passed down for the child to become a sufferer of the disorder – if one parent is a sufferer, there is a 50% chance that the embryo(s)/child(ren) will be as well.

This is shocking news to me, because my maternal grandfather had Huntington’s. There are 5 children – my mother has two sisters and two brothers. And yes, just a year or two ago one of those brothers started showing signs of Huntington’s – it has now progressed to the point where he cannot drive anymore. Which is further scary because that uncle has two children who recently got married, and one of them has two young children herself now. (Huntington’s is fatal, for anyone who doesn’t know. My “Opa” died when I was very young, I think about 4 years old.)

And I honestly can’t remember if my mom got tested for it. There was some debate a few years ago, I do recall – probably around the same time that my uncle started showing signs. Some of the siblings didn’t want to know if they had it or not, some did. I’d fall squarely in the “wanting to know” camp, because even if it wouldn’t change my outcome, it could change my child’s. And hell, I just want to know what’s coming, I hate being blindsided by things. So I really need to ask my mom about it.

I talked to my mom on the phone last night, she told me she chose not to get tested for Huntington’s. :( She’s pretty sure she doesn’t have it, though, as she’s the age that most people would start exhibiting signs. But she said if she’d found out she had it she’d live her life differently, and she didn’t want that. Personally, I would want to – I mean, I’d rather get the chance to do things I wanted to do, finish up my plans, etc. But anyways. So we don’t know. :/

I’m wondering if I don’t have hypothyroidism. My thyroid function has actually never been checked. But I have a lot of the symptoms, including depression, weight gain, low resistance to cold, and of course the exhaustion. Hypothyroidism can cause infertility – though usually it messes up ovulation, and obviously mine is fine. But I think I should get that checked as well. That would explain a lot of things…

We are coming up on my ovulation, any day now. I’ve been doing pretty good with taking my temperature – I’ve given up trying to take it the same time every day, if I get more than 3 hours sleep at a time, at ANY time of day, I consider it a blessing – but it’s showing very clearly that my temp is nice and low. It dropped like crazy last night, that’s a good sign. :)

I’m NOT using OPKs this month. It’s such an addiction though, I get all twitchy and wondering if I should buy some more. But at $20 PER BOX I just can’t afford to keep doing it every month! Plus it’s not like they’ve even really helped me, except for last month. My ovulation is very predictable (when I’m not sick), so oh well. We’re just having sex every day from now until my temp jumps up.

Last night as we were laying there I kept telling Den to visualize a baby being made – the power of visualization! He started chanting, “Boy, boy, boy!” For months now we’ve had these silly “argument”s – he says “Boy!” and I say “Girl!” Well last night when he started I just paused for a minute then started saying, “Baby, baby, baby!” He laughed and gave me a big hug. I think we’re well past the point where we care which we get! (Well, at least I am – not sure about him!)

Shoot. I think I gave myself a UTI. Ever since I got those UTIs a few years ago I’ve made sure to get up and pee immediately after having sex, but now that we’re TTC I’ve been trying to lay here for a bit. Last night I tried going to sleep afterwards, but got up half an hour later. Now today I feel like I have to pee, and I’ve done so twice, there’s nothing left… but I still feel like I have to pee pretty bad. :( I hope this goes away.

It appears fairly likely that I ovulated – FF doesn’t think so, but it’s a computer program and can be stupid sometimes. I put in my own coverlines. Den kissed my stomach on the way out the door this morning. We had sex every day for like 5 days in a row. Whew! If that doesn’t work… I don’t know what to do. We’re definitely covered. Now please stick.

Wanted to make a note of this: took my measurements two days ago. Waist is 31, Hips are 40.5.

I read about women getting so depressed by their TTC journey that they want to give up, or at least take a vacation from it. I can honestly say I don’t think I could do that – I want this so bad, I’ll keep pushing, keep trying, as long as it takes.

I only just ovulated a few days ago, and I already want to cry. I hate feeling so helpless. I want to get two little lines. I want to be pregnant so badly. Yes, I can tell this is going to be a long 2 weeks.

If this catches we’ll be pregnant for the anniversary party. If it doesn’t work this month I’ll be ovulating possibly AT the party. Definitely be ovulating while we’re visiting. That might be awkward.