Interesting tidbit: I am getting a headache tonight. Last cycle I got a headache the day before AF showed. (Due to my temp drop today I am expecting AF tomorrow.) Also, this cycle I had 4 headaches between AF and ovulation, and then nothing until tonight. Hmm. Pointing to hormones.

I’m beginning to think I’d like a little boy. I’ve always wanted a little girl. But everyone except Alicia has a boy right now. Meghann’s little boy is so absolutely adorable he makes my heart melt. And he reminds me of Cory, in some pictures. My little brother was the damn cutest little boy ever. Granted I’m biased, since I’m the big sister, but he had these adorable pudgy cheeks and big front teeth and he was just soooo cute. I remember when he used to say “nake” instead of snake, and follow me around, and say, “Daddy daddy daddy daddy” a hundred times a day to get dad’s attention. And I think… yeah, that wouldn’t be too bad at all. Besides, we already have a boy’s name picked out!

Fertility Friend really can’t decide on an ovulation date. This morning it tried changing it to day 19, which I know isn’t right. So I changed the detection method to FAM and it changed it to day 13. I’m leaving it there for now. Blah, I just wish it’d be easy to see.

I really want a baby. Today I took Zoe for a walk and started working with her on “heel” – because I want to be able to walk her when I’m pushing a baby stroller. Now I have to work on getting her claws under control, because those things are wicked.

This is only our third month of trying, I guess I can’t expect too much yet.

Went to my new PCP today, and here are some notes:

My weight: 135lbs
Blood pressure: 122/70 (I need to research this, I have no idea what it means)

He was concerned about me being on Celexa. Zoloft is a class B for pregnancy, and he said that doctors generally prefer pregnant patients switch to that. But he also mentioned that either way it’s an SSRI, so… I’m not really convinced that Celexa would be any more dangerous. It’s only a class C because less research has been done on that particular drug. I’ve talked to other women who stayed on celexa during their pregnancy with no problems whatsoever, and I am quite leery of switching to another drug and risking having an emotional crash and burn. But I’ll talk to my new gyno and make my decision after that. If Zoloft does the same thing for me then it shouldn’t be a big deal. But I don’t know.

I asked the doctor if he will want to see me when I get pregnant, he said no – the gyno he recommended is very capable and will handle me more than adequately during my pregnancy (and delivers babies, he said :D ). I also asked if his office sees children patients, and he said no. He said where he takes his kids is a pediatric office which happens to be right down the street from us on the main road – it’s the one I had made note of when searching on the insurance company’s website. He said they have very long hours, open 7 days a week, and are very good. So I’ll definitely be going there.

Now I just have to make an appointment with the new gyno. Hope that goes well. I should have done that months ago after my initial appointment with the gyno I didn’t much like, but… meh. I’m lazy, what can I say. I will say that, whatever this new gyno says about my meds, I’ll not be putting TTC on hold for it.

2 more telling signs: my temperature this morning was really low – it had been steadily climbing quite high. If the temp jumps back up tomorrow it could be an implantation dip. Also, there was pink spotting in my CM today. Makes me think I O’d on CD13.

Funny how we do this, when it’s all conjecture anyways.

How’s this for weird… since I went off the pill I’ve been getting my period on the full moon and ovulating on the new moon. Seriously like one day off, if it’s not on the exact day. And yes, this month I apparently ovulated on the new moon again. My test date is set for the full moon in February.

Here’s my OPKs from this last week. No positives. *sigh*

CD12

CD13

CD14

CD15

CD16

The more I read up on Bradley classes and the whole theory behind it, the more I lean towards wanting a natural (non-medicated) childbirth. I don’t want to not feel anything from the waist down. (It doesn’t happen to all women who get epis, but many it does – women seem to react differently to it.) A part of my desire is because… well, natural is the way it’s supposed to be. You probably know how I’ve always felt about medication of any sort. Being on anti-depressants was a huge step for me, and now I will take midol for cramps and advil for a wicked headache (like I have now, though I haven’t taken anything yet). But I don’t take something unless I need to. And birthing… well, it’s… natural. It’s what happens. There’s a beginning and an end. Plus from what I’ve read the transition phase is the worst, not the actual pushing.

I haven’t mentioned it to Den again because when I brought it up the first time he basically said, “You’d never handle it.” Umm, thanks for the vote of confidence? But, I know what he means, why he said it. I don’t handle pain – physical or emotional – well at all. But I feel like childbirth is a totally different kind of pain. It’s purposeful.

I guess I’ll see when I get there, and after I go through some Bradley classes and learn more. And, you know, when I actually get pregnant.

Damnit man, another headache. I can’t find any handwritten journals laying around, so I’ll just keep notes here:

Symptoms: Started after 8pm. Straight through both temples, behind my eyes. Bright lights hurt.
Daily activities: Woke at 6am, no naps. Poor sleep last night. Out grocery shopping and running errands during the day. Haven’t used computer much at all today. Watched TV from 6pm on.
Food: Ate bowl of cereal and banana in morning, 6″ ham sub for lunch, salad and french toast and strawberries for dinner. No glasses of milk.