The kid is very… awake. I’m watching my belly roll around… if I lay my hand there I can feel his feet moving around… two smallish hard things pushing up against my hand. :) As time goes by I feel like I get to “know” him better and better. Before he was a stranger who would sometimes knock at the door to let me know he was still there. Now I can feel every movement… I know when he’s awake or asleep, and I am learning which body parts are pushing at me. The other day I was feeling the large solid part that I can only assume was his back. And it was really stunning to me to realize that I was feeling our baby with my hand. Just now as his foot is pressing hard upwards, I press downwards and feel him kick against my hand. Just a few layers of muscle and skin separate us. We can interact.

I love this kid so much already. Every week I seem to love him even more. What an amazing day it will be when we get to meet him.

::

Today was birth class week 4 and we went over transition and second stage labor.

I’ve always heard of transition as such a horrible time, a big hurdle… and yet it only lasts a short while! I’m a little nervous, but I’m confident Den can keep me on-track and keep reminding me that I’m almost at the end.

We went over a lot about pushing – the best positions to push in, the worst, what your body’s doing and how to help it. She said pushing often feels good, productive, because it’s something you actively participate in – unless first stage labor when your cervix is dialating and the best thing you can do is relax and let your uterus do its job. She stressed waiting for the urge to push – which apparently happens because the baby’s head is descended so far down that it’s pressing on your rectum and gives you that need-to-poop feeling. Great huh? Clever bodies.

I have the feeling I’ll like a modified squat position for birthing… propped up in bed with pillows or held up by my husband. Of course only time will tell for that one!

We also wrote down on little cards 5 things our partner has done to prepare for the birth and one way in which they could improve. Each couple shared one positive thing they wrote. What really struck me was how close each couple was connected. I really do feel like this is a team effort for all three of the couples, and I’m sure it’s a common thread with Bradley classes (you know, with the “husband-coached childbirth” thing). I just love that we’re birthing the baby together… that the class stresses how important Den is to the process and gives him all these things to focus on and do instead of just sit there and hope for the best.

I like how they speak directly to the husbands for a lot of things. They’ll talk in great detail about what the mother’s going to be experiencing, and then they’ll point out the things the coach needs to make note of (like emotional signposts) and list some good things for them to do at that point. I just think Den is going to be such an awesome birth partner now that he knows what to expect and has some ideas of what to say or do. (Of course he knows “Shut up! And stop touching me!” will always be a valid response for me to give him, lol!)

The relaxation at the end of class was pretty typical – get in the side-laying position all propped up with my pillows, get comfortable, then focus on relaxing my body and breathing deep with my belly. The instructor went down different muscle groups, getting us to focus on one at a time and making sure there was no tension in them. What really helped the most was having Den touch each spot as we went over it. It’s one thing to think “Okay, need to relax my lower back muscles…” and another to have him gently rubbing right there. It really brings your attention to that spot and sometimes I’d find tension there that I didn’t notice before. I also made note that I tend to carry tension in my shoulders. Several times I had to intentionally relax them. I guess we’ll have to watch that one in labor (and other times too).

::

I had a chiropractic appointment yesterday morning. I’ve been having them roughly every 5 days since I started – I have another on Friday and then they’ll start spacing them out more. I normally would get quite upset at having to go this frequently (we only have a copay but those add up quickly in a short time period), but I seriously feel so much better that I really can’t complain about anything. Whatever they do, it works, and that’s all I need to know right now to follow their schedule.

I did start to get a little bit of that hip pain back this past weekend – I could just feel it start niggling at me – I mentioned it yesterday and now it’s gone again. The interesting part was when she was pressing lightly on my lower back, she asked if that hurt. “Nope,” I said. She moved up my back a little at a time, massaging. Oh yeah, THEN I started feeling it. Know how I said I carry tension in my shoulders? Well everything in my upper back between my shoulder blades is SO tight it’s painful. She wasn’t touching hard or anything, but I sure felt it. She pressed sharply between my shoulder blades and I swear I heard a crack all the way up my spine. Yikes.

It’s all of course from the way my belly is throwing my center of balance off. I commented to Den today how I notice I’m leaning back further than I used to, to make up for the weight of the belly. It definitely pulls on the spine. I’ve always had a very arched back, and now it’s even worse.

A part of me really wonders what would have happened had I seen a chiropractor years and years ago, back when I had a lot of back problems. When I worked at Subway, working 8 hour shifts on my feet… adults would tell me that my body just wasn’t used to being on my feet that long, that it was normal. But I’m still pretty certain that it is not normal to come home from work, lay on your bed in tears, and be unable to move for a good hour due to the back pain. Other normal people manage to work shifts on their feet without that much of an issue – of course there’s always going to be aches and pains, but that bad? So it makes me wonder.

::

Due to the very crappy sleep I’ve been getting I have been very tired and approaching “cranky.” Okay, so I was extremely cranky this morning. Despite having “things that need to get done” I ended up taking a 2-3 hour nap – I even hit the snooze button three times, which I never do. (It’s a good thing I did though – I have this habit of just turning off the alarm… and falling back asleep. Not good when you have work to get to.) Boy did that nap help reset my personality. I felt decently human again.

But, it’s time for sleep again. I hope tonight goes better than the past two nights or I’m going to get cranky again.

I have sat down to write a journal entry the past two evenings now, and either I end up with a blank screen or a ton of totally discombobulated ramblings that don’t really have much to do with anything. Evenings and me aren’t working out so well… I just get too tired to put sentences together. (Actually, I’m pretty tired this morning as well, but not much I can do about that unless I think I have time for a nap.) So I apologise to everyone (to my readers, to my blog) for not writing. I like to write often just for my own record-keeping.

::

I want to give a shout-out to two of the fabulous girls I met last year.

Lady-In-Waiting at Purgatory just got two great betas. I’m so excited for her and all my fingers are crossed that everything continues to go really smoothly for her!!

You may or may not have heard around the blog-sphere, but Mary Ellen at Not According To Plan is pregnant with triplets. Her pregnancy is currently very precarious, and I’m scared as shit for her. She is 18 weeks along and her cervix is not holding, despite the cerclage… she’s on bedrest and being monitored very closely. She’s counting down to viability. I swear every time I check her blog (daily) I hold my breath and only let it out when I see there’s no news or good news. I can’t even put into words how much I’m thinking about her and hoping beyond hope that those babies stay in there safe and sound.

::

Devin is apparently head down a lot lately, because I have to pee…. every 10 seconds. I am not real fond of this feeling. (Although, despite having to go frequently I still actually have to go a good amount, it’s not just a fake pee. So I can’t ignore it either.)

Of course then yesterday he wasn’t so low, and instead every time I sat at my desk he was kicking me high on my right side… slouching even a little bit pushed him into my ribs. The last two days I had some good-sized meals, which resulted in me feeling very squashed inside for some time. I had to walk around and lean back and stretch on the couch in order to give my insides some breathing room.

I believe this is what one might call “between a rock and a hard place.” Running out of room in there!

::

The night sweats are back. I am not amused. Now I hear a lot of pregnant ladies, even the ones who are cold when they go to bed, say they wake up sweaty and burning up. This is not my problem. My problem is that I wake up sweaty and freezing cold. I don’t even understand how that’s possible, but there it is… I wake up with my sheets drenched in sweat, sweat dripping down between my boobs and all over my body, and I’m shivering for all I’m worth. It is beyond gross, and extremely frustrating… it’s impeding my sleep, and I can’t even just roll over and fall back asleep, I have to get up and towel myself off. Ugh! The only reason for it I can figure is that my body overheats itself while I’m asleep, goes into sweat-overdrive mode to cool down, which then works too well and my body temp falls like crazy waking me up in shivers. So body? Stop overcorrecting, you idiot!!

Also back are the leg cramps… I haven’t been drinking enough water lately, and I can tell. Ugh. I need to keep on top of that.

Between those two things and my hips sleep has sucked lately. I’m just flat-out exhausted, and I know it’s because I’m not getting enough good sleep.

Most of the time I think about this point in pregnancy and I’m like, “Wow! I’m 7 months pregnant! Where did the time go??” Den pointed out that it’s been over 6 months since we found out we were expecting. And it seems to have just flown by! But then there are times when my belly is feeling awkward and heavy, when I’m tired and gassy and my hips are sore, that I think to myself, 2 months left… if I’m feeling like this now, how am I going to feel in 2 months?? Oh yes, I am starting to see why women want their babies evicted by the end. I’m certainly not there yet. But in 2 months? Yeah. I could see that.

I brought out my “Pregnancy, Week by Week” book to take a peek inside since it’s been a while since I did. I read, “Week 30 – At this point in your pregnancy, your baby weighs about 3 pounds.” I was all, “Wow.”

Then I flipped ahead. “Week 31… 3.5 pounds. Week 32… 4 pounds. HOLY CRAP!” Den just kind of looked at me and said, “Umm, well, the baby’s going to have to start gaining here if he’s going to get big for delivery.” I know this, but… still! I have a 3 pounder inside me right now! He’s growing so fast, too. It’s just hard to imagine.

I love that the book also has a little call-out box under Week 30 that says, “It may be hard to believe you still have 10 weeks to go!”

::

I ate a lot early today… I had a pretty good breakfast (2 eggs, scrambled, plus 2 slices of flax bread toast with jam), then after we’d hit up Home Depot we stopped for lunch – sweet potato fries (oh yum!) and a chicken ceasar wrap. I felt so huge by the time we got home. I guess baby plus all that food was just a little too much. Den started doing some work around the house and I fully intended to help him, but I had to lay on my side while waiting for him to move some stuff because I was uncomfortable… and I ended up falling asleep right there. He let me sleep for nearly 4 hours! Yeesh.

When I woke up I got a snack (an apple) and then Den picked out a movie to watch online. So we cuddled up in bed and watched it on my laptop. :) It was just so nice to cuddle with my hubby and watch a movie. My belly was sticking up so far though, it’s funny. Sometimes the movie-watching was punctuated by my belly bulging up in front, I’d point to it and we’d stare as the kiddo moved around. Den even got to feel a really big kick, usually he only feels the smaller movements, not the ones that make me jump every so often (the kid is pretty strong!). It was a nice evening.

::

So what was Den doing on the house? Here’s one thing he did: started tearing down the ugly panelling from our bedroom. Here’s a description for you. Our bedroom is 4/5 covered in ugly, smoke-stained off-white-painted panelling. That’s bad enough. The last 1/5? Is green felt. I am not kidding. Two of the large sections of panelling are covered in… green felt. Apparently it was some kind of quilting wall. We know it as the ugly green wall. Felt is not only good for quilting, it is fantastic at collecting fur. Who has to brush their wall?? So Den decided to start pulling it down today on a whim.

And underneath? THIS!! It even smells like smoke. Lovely right?? (But don’t worry.. the worst wallpaper is in Devin’s room. Wait til I can get a picture of it… it’s truly horrifying.)

I can’t decide which is worse. *gag*

Then while I slept Den worked in the basement, tearing down the rest of the crap that’s still in there. He needs to get it all cleared out because today we ordered most of the building materials needed to frame and drywall his new office down there. The menfolk will be doing that next weekend, and hopefully getting that mostly done. How exciting. I am staying out of it, though… it’s all up to them. Even the painting.

So while they’re doing that I can hopefully be taking down wallpaper and painting the bedroom. (Not sure how I’ll manage that, being pregnant in mid-winter, but I guess I’ll have to open windows.) We really want to get the bedroom painted before Devin comes… get rid of all this ugly old panelling… get rid of the ugly wallpaper… and finally get it looking half-decent. No more fabric wall. This could actually be a nice room, for once.

Devin’s room is saved for last because we simply can’t do much with it until everything gets moved out… it has Den’s desk and computer, the futon, and a bunch of bookcases. All of which need to get moved to the basement, when that room is done down there.

One step at a time, I guess. I’m getting excited to see the house shaping up, though. It will be quite something to not be ashamed and grossed out by any room in our house!

From the prescribing information for Celexa and Zoloft:

Celexa:

Zoloft:

Well that sure doesn’t help clear things up for me. 2 reports? I mean, obviously one would hope for no negative side-effects. What what kind of risks are we looking at here? 2 out of how many?

So what’s my plan: find a Lactation Consultant to, err, consult with… which I can search for online. And then talk with the pediatrician about it. Then go from there.

Added:

Searching Toxnet for citalopram gave far more information.

Interesting.

First of all, I got my birth beads in the mail today! On one forum (I won’t say which, but you probably know which one if you are into natural birthing) the due date groups exchange birth beads… everyone buys one bead of a natural material for every girl involved in the exchange, then the organizer collects all the beads and distributes them… one bead for everyone. (I chose Sodalite.) So I got my package of all these different beads, most with a little quote or thought attached to them. It’s so uplifting! Later I will string the beads together in a necklace to bring to my birth. I may not WEAR it, but I’ll have it with me as a focus object. I think it will be wonderful to be reminded of all these ladies, all doing natural birth, and be reminded of their positive thoughts and wishes.

::

Today was my 30-week appointment. I got there about 2 minutes after my appointment time (8:30), then sat and waited. I got called in at 9:00 and then sat in an exam room for another 30 minutes before the midwife came in. I was getting a little irritated and uncomfortable by that point – I was hungry!

The stats: weight was 156 (I’m up 16lbs according to their scale), blood pressure was 110/60 (same as usual).

While I was waiting for the midwife, the nutritionist came in to check up on me. She asked how I was doing with eating and weight gain, she was pleased. She opened up to that silly little chart and marked down my current weight – it is now exactly on the “ideal weight gain” line. Ha. (Remember last time when I hadn’t gained anything at all and she was all concerned? Yeah.) Luckily this time she didn’t irritate me like she did last time, although I made note that the thing that she’s looking at is weight gain, instead of really asking me what I’m eating. I told her anyways. I’m doing good, no worries.

She talked to me briefly about breastfeeding. She also said that later on in my pregnancy, before I give birth, her or another nutritionist will come in to talk to me more about breastfeeding, show me positions, etc. She said that when I give birth I should make sure to speak to the staff lactation consultant. She said, “Not to badmouth anyone, but sometimes the nurses just aren’t educated enough about breastfeeding.” She told me to make sure they don’t give the baby any pacifiers or sugar water or bottles, that we don’t want to confuse the baby at all and make sure he latches on to the breast. So that was good.

Then I sat there some more until the midwife came in. Unfortunately it was with the midwife who irritated me last time I saw her… but this time she didn’t seem to bother me nearly as much. Maybe I was just in a mood that day, LOL.

Still no actual answer on the meds thing. I am getting QUITE annoyed by that. I don’t mind seeing different midwives if it was at all apparent that they ever spoke to each other and put things in my chart. Hello?! I need more than someone’s opinion each time, I wanted an actual answer! “Ask the ped” is not sufficient. But. She did say that many women breastfeed on celexa and it shouldn’t be an issue. I just don’t know, I’m getting so damn frustrated. Part of me says to just switch meds to zoloft, but then part of me is REALLY nervous about doing that, knowing how bad things can get when I’m not on my meds. Sometimes it takes time to find the right meds, and if celexa really is “my” med, zoloft might not work near as well. And that, frankly, would suck big time. I really wish I felt like they gave a damn about it rather than just shrugging their shoulders every time. (Yes, getting very pissed about this.)

Okay, moving past that. Fundal height was 29cm. I asked her if she could tell what position the kiddo is in, and she said it’s probably too early to tell for sure… but she suspects she feels feet and a bum up high above my belly button, and what is probably is back down my right side. She couldn’t feel his head, but didn’t want to press too hard – it’s probably hiding down low in my pelvis (along with his hands, which like to “tickle” me down there!). After feeling for body parts she took out the doppler and said “Let’s see, usually I’ll hear the heartbeat where the back is, if I’m right.” She put the doppler down over where she felt the back and WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH there it was without any adjustment at all. Haha. So that’s more confirmation that he’s now head-down like I suspected for the past week or two (ever since I started feeling the need to pee every half an hour). I didn’t get a count on the heartrate, but it sounded the same as usual, probably around 150. :)

And that was all for today. Next appointment Feb 8.

Yes, I am now calling my child “the octopus”. Den says that’s mean. I say it’s fitting.

This was an early morning for me, because Den had to get up early (early early) for work today. I was all set to fall back asleep (the cat woke me up getting comfortable and kneading my shoulder while he did so), when I noticed that no one was kicking me. The baby was asleep! Yessss!! Okay, a small small tiny part of my brain was a little worried that there was no movement… mostly happy that he was asleep. Tiny bit worried.

Then…. *kick*
Oh hi Devin. Thanks for reassuring me. You can go back to sleep now.
……..
Shew, thanks.
*kick kick. kick. wiggle. kick*
Awwwww damnit. Octopus is awake again.

Then my stomach started growling angrily for food and I knew going back to sleep was simply not in the cards for me.

Of course, now the kiddo is peaceful and I’m sitting here bleary-eyed but awake, and I can’t even go back to sleep because I have to leave for a midwife appointment in a little over an hour.

::

Last night I was laying in bed watching a show on my laptop when Den came in to go to bed. As he was undressing he started giggling – like flat out giggling. I had to pause my show to find out what the heck was up, only to find him staring at my bulging belly. “It’s the most basketballish I’ve ever seen it!”

He got in bed with a huge grin on his face.

I have to say, I am really enjoying NetFlix’s new “watch instantly” feature… free movies for any subscriber. I was honestly about to cancel our NetFlix subscription because getting a movie and sending it back… well we suck at it and never seem to have what we want to watch when we want to watch it. I know that they don’t have most newer movies in the watch instantly…. but they have a ton of older ones. We don’t own movies… so I can’t just pull out a favorite movie and watch it when I’m bored. So this rocks!

Hey, they even have Heros season one and two available! Yay!! (I never got to watch them on TV, was too far behind)

Ooomph. I swear this baby put on like 2lbs over the course of a week… okay, maybe not. But he’s sure gotten more uncomfortable in leaps and bounds. My belly feels so much heavier than it did before, though I think a lot of that depends on the position Devin puts himself in. I find that when he’s forward it feels a lot heavier than when he’s closer to my spine – makes sense, really. I really am not a fan of when he leans forward… it feels heavy, it puts a lot of pressure on my bladder, and it’s much harder to move around! Just lifting a knee up feels like I’m squashing myself.

Sleep is frustrating. Ever since my limb circulation started sucking and I can’t sleep on my arm anymore it means I can’t sleep in my one and only favored position. Which makes life more difficult. I really thought my belly would be the thing preventing me from sleeping, not my damn arms! So as it is I have to have both arms in front of me (I can’t put one behind me, hurts my shoulder), basically “hugging” a pillow, and sleep entirely on my side. Which puts pressure on my hip. Which starts aching after a few hours. So then I wake up and kind of stretch and roll around and try to roll over, which, because of the pressure down low, makes me really have to pee. So yeah. Getting up to pee about 2-3 times a night now. I don’t wake up because of it but when I do wake up and try to move I gotta go.

I do find it funny, though, that however much bigger he is (and my uterus and whatever else goes on in there), my stomach must be more squished than it was in my second trimester, and yet I’m able to eat a lot more. How does THAT make sense?? But sheesh, I’m constantly hungry. This morning I woke up and didn’t want to get out of bed right away (it was cold, and I had a cat or two curled up on me), but about half an hour later I was starting to feel nauseated with hunger. So I had to go eat. (French toast – yay for fitting another egg into my meals.) Two slices and I’m still hungry. You certainly wouldn’t know my stomach was being squashed in there. Or maybe it’s just become a straight-through bottomless pit? LOL

In terms of eating habits I’m doing my best, but it’s hard to get 80g of protein every day. I’m getting tired of protein-laden foods, but if I eat a meal with little to no good protein in it then I find it really hard to make up later. I try to keep good snacks around, either protein like little cheese packages or nut bars or yogurt, or else I like to grab fruits and veggies. Strawberries are hit-or-miss at the grocery store at this time of year (they’re all a little pathetic looking), but I’m keeping stocked on bananas and I’ve rediscovered how good celery with peanut butter tastes. (I normally can’t stand celery, I ONLY eat it sliced up with peanut butter. I will even pick celery out of sandwiches and salads.) And of course I still try to get some servings of whole wheat in every day, whether it’s from cereal or bread or something else.

And then there’s the chocolate I “let” myself have every evening, but that serves no nutritional purpose… just emotional. ;)

Admission: I don’t do kick counts. As I was explaining to Den last night, this kid is so active that doing “kick counts” lasts only about 2 minutes until he hits his quota of 10 separate movements. Of course he’s not always THAT active, but he’s active often enough that I feel no need to track it. On the rare days that he’s pretty quiet I do pay more attention to make sure there’s still some movement going on, but it usually just means he’s in an odd position where I can’t feel as much.

Gotta love the kicks down low though. Talking with Den last night I kept punctuating my sentences with “Ow!” and “Hey, cut it out!” Sometimes it just felt like wiggles down low that made me squirm… sometimes it was a nice sharp jab to something that made me jump. I think I have an octopus in there.

Well the monster is satisfied with the food, so it’s time to try to catch more sleep. I’m not sure exactly how many hours I’m getting at night, but I know it’s not enough. Growing a baby is exhausting!

So last night was week #3 of our Bradley class (it got moved to Tuesday nights from now on). I have a work meeting at 6pm Tuesday nights (that always start late) so I was late to the class by about a minute. Drat. Den was there already.

Poor Den looked like he was about ready to fall out of his chair and start snoring at any minute. I suspect he dozed off a couple of times during class. I kept flicking my hand at him to check that he was awake and paying attention.

Our topic for the day was looking at the stages of labor, how long they were, what to expect, and signposts. It was just an overview and we’ll go into detail in future classes. I think it was extremely helpful… this is stuff I really really wanted to learn, both for me and for Den.

The instructors (husband and wife, if you’ve forgotten) were talking about how no one can be as good a birth coach as a partner (husband)… they are the one person who knows you the best in life, who can read you better than any medical personnel. A husband can tell when you’re “slightly more cranky than normal,” even if to other people you still seem cheery (or, conversely, can tell when you’re still in a pretty good mood for you, even if everyone else thinks you’re cranky, lol!). I really love how they emphasise the role of the father/coach, how important it is… and how they give so many examples of what they need to be doing to help you out. I feel like this is SO good for Den to be hearing, not only validation of his desire to be my one and only support, but also all that prep knowledge. It’s important to ME that he knows the signposts and can guide me through my labor. I really really need someone saying, “Okay, looks like you’re heading into transition honey. You’re almost there. Just a little longer.” I need that kind of feedback… not just emotional support. I like facts and details, it’s just how I work.

This morning he did say to me, “How on earth am I going to get through an 18 hour labor?? I always thought it was like, a couple of hours… not a freaking marathon! I’ll have to bring a book or something.” So apparently he learned something. lol Sorry bubs, I’m not real thrilled about an 18 hour marathon, either. LOL!

Den is just doing so well in this class, I really am so thrilled with him. Maybe that sounds silly, but I know how he rolls his eyes at the earthy-crunchy foofy stuff. But he is really really making an effort to participate, he watches the birth movies and he comments on stuff to me afterwards. And he’s so funny around the house now, saying, “Have you done your kegels yet today? Gimme 10!!” He cracks me up!

I also feel so encouraged by him in the eating arena too. He’s been super supportive of all the changes I’ve made and is always saying things like, “Good job!” when I tell him I bougth flax bread instead of white, etc. Again, maybe that seems silly… but I know how hard it is on my mom to make changes to her eating habits when my dad is standing there going, “Why? I’m not eating that shit.” :( I feel so bad for her now that I see it from her viewpoint. Den really is amazing. Plus he’s on a diet himself, trying to lose weight… so while he obviously doesn’t want to eat all the protein that I am, we’re both really focussing on the whole grains and fruits and veggies. It’s great to do it together. It just makes it so much easier.

So yeah! This class thing is going really well! When I tell people we’re doing a birthing class I frequently get an eyeroll and a, “What, they need to teach you how to push? What’s so hard about that?” I still really don’t know how to succinctly answer them… right now I just smile and shrug. But how can I explain (in a sentence or two) how much we’re getting from this class or why I feel I need it? Especially people who think labor automatically comes with an epidural. How can I explain that it’s so much more than a labor class? It’s about nutrition, it’s about fitness, it’s about your partner, it’s about medical procedures, it’s about anatomy. I understand how people could be confused about how on earth you can fill up 10-12 weeks about labor and birth, but there is just so much info, and I love it.

Just have to remember to do my homework.

Thank you all for the hugs and suggestions about the couch. I have consulted the guru (ie, my dad) and he has confirmed with me that it is not going to be as simple as taking off a doorframe. He shot down my idea of taking out the window… as he put it, “It’s not the aluminum-framed kind where you can just pop out some screws.” The windows are original to the house (50’s), wood frame, not going to budge. The front door isn’t the issue, it’s the foyer, the couch is too big to stand on end in the foyer, and the issue is the wall in the way preventing the couch from coming into the house – couch can’t bend 90 degrees – which has plumbing in it and may even be a load-bearing wall (lovely, right?). All the other doors leading to the living room are 4″ smaller than the front door (which the couch can *barely* squeeze through, tipped at a precise angle, and squashed like hell). In short: we’re fucked.

(And of course my dad was like, “Make sure mice don’t get to your couch while it’s in the garage,” and I’m all, “I DIDN’T NEED ANOTHER THING TO WORRY ABOUT NOW!” Thanks dad.)

Enough about the couch. Let’s move on to the baby. Far less frustrating.

::

Heartburn has unfortunately just become a part of life. Not BAD heartburn, though. When Den says, “I have heartburn,” he usually says it like he’s ready to keel over dead at any minute, so I can only surmise that what I have isn’t BAD heartburn. It’s not pleasant, but it’s not horrible either. It’s just that every time I bend over to pick something up or put something down (which happens frequently at work when I’m putting down food for everyone) I get burning in my throat. Blech.

Speaking of bending over… that’s getting more difficult as well. I can do it, and I do frequently without really thinking about it, but doing so moves that basketball that I carry so effortlessly out front right up into my ribs. Which is unpleasant, just so you know. And damn if it still doesn’t catch me off-guard every time. I always end up making a face and straightening back up, then rubbing said basketball. You should have seen me at work today. I was gagging and making faces every time I picked up or put down a food bowl, LOL.

The funny thing is that because my uterus and the kiddo are a little lopsided – they hang out on my right side – is that it affects half of my body more than the other half. I can put my left sock on without issue. My right sock usually squashes something and I end up having to rest my leg sideways to get my sock on.

I continue to get those weird “heavy” sensations while I’m at work. For some reason being there and being on my feet moving around seem to turn him a certain way. It makes me have to pee frequently while working. But hey, at least I know how to turn him, right? lol

I can certainly feel that he’s getting bigger. It’s really weird how it was all about the size of my uterus before… I could feel it growing. I knew it was there, but it wasn’t active or anything. There were some love taps from the baby, which were separate events. And now… goodness… now I can feel body parts, and he’s constantly moving. It’s no longer this inanimate blob I’m carrying around, it’s a wiggly, live baby who is growing bigger every day. It’s quite the mental shift.

I get tickles down at my cervix. Not usually bad enough to make me jump, just… tickles. Weird weird feeling, that. Very low. But yup… most of his kicks and punches or whatever are up high… heading for my ribs now. Not quite there yet most days, thank goodness.

But oh the movement! My belly is always rolling now. Sometimes it’s just a hard spot that I can feel with my hands… sometimes my whole belly rolls from side to side as he moves about. Sometimes he’s kicking and pushing in all directions at once. I sometimes have to just stop what I’m doing and massage a spot. People (husband, co-worker) look at me like, “What’s wrong?” and I just mutter, “Kid’s on my bladder,” or, “Baby’s pressing on my ribs,” or whatever it is at that moment. He especially likes to push against my belly button. Weird. (But much better than dropping down and squeezing my bladder.)

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I’m heading towards 30 weeks pregnant. Some people are like, “YAY, the hope stretch!” I’m more like, “OMFG nothing’s done AGGHHHH!!!” *run around like a chicken with no head* Okay, maybe I’m exagerating slightly. Haven’t broken out in a cold sweat yet. But still, the 30 week mark seems a little scary. Okay a lot scary. I don’t know why, but suddenly 30-something is countdown mode. I do NOT feel ready for 30 weeks. I have to keep reminding myself that 30 weeks means 4 more weeks until 34 weeks and another 4 until 38 weeks. That’s 2 whole months. It’s not as scary as it sounds. Right?

Gears are finally turning on the basement project. The menfolk seem very confident that they can get a ton of it done in one weekend. Color me skeptical, but it is not something I will have much – if any – involvement in, so I’ll just leave it up to them. I’m going to be helping with the baby’s room – I’ll probably do much of the painting myself – but the basement is all Den. (If I get too involved I’ll want to, you know, put my 2 cents in on the wall color and stuff. Den doesn’t want that!) The only thing I am doing is running the cabling for our home network down there. (There are *some* benefits to having taken 4 years of computer information systems in college. I actually can find some practical use out of the networking classes I hated!) Someday the entire house will be wired, that will be nice. One room at a time.

I’m really trying to just relax and let things go until after the baby shower – after we know what we need to buy yet – but it’s really hard. I still have this intense need to organize baby stuff. Whether it’s lists online (registries!) or baby clothes or whatever… I need to ORGANIZE it. Categorize it, label it, put it in bins, count it off, list it out five different ways…. for some reason doing these things makes me feel like I’m organizing for baby. I guess nesting comes in all shapes and sizes. Mine’s just a little more obsessive than mopping the floors.

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Well baby is still awake, but mama’s got to get some sleep. I have a chiro appointment in the morning, then some grocery shopping to do – I’m out of milk and bananas, damnit!