Well I took my first clomid pills today. I’m on 100mg/day. I waited until 9pm to take them because I heard it can cut down on some side-effects if you take the pills at night. I’m willing to try it, the doctor never told me when during the day to take it. I don’t know when side-effects will start, either. It’ll be hard to figure out too, because pretty much every symptom I’ve read so far I have to some degree already. Night sweats? Yup. Headaches? Had one all day today. Nausea? You betcha, all the freakin’ time. So I guess it’ll be a matter of “is this worse than usual?”

I talked to my mom on the phone today, told her of the clomid and the upcoming IUI. I try to be polite and not say things like “sex” or “sperm” but sometimes it just can’t be helped, especially when talking about IUI. In any case, she’s eager to hear updates on how it all goes. She also mentioned that my aunt (the one who had endo) was on fertility treatments of some kind. I find that reassuring. I’m pretty sure that’s why my mom has been so supportive and understanding about all of this. She is very close to her sister and must have been her support as well.

Well no side-effects today. I did have a couple of weird-ish dreams, but mine are usually rather weird. :P I actually have felt quite chipper all day today. The pets are all behaving, my hubby took me out for breakfast, it was a sunshiny day… yep, not a bad day at all.

My period stopped, though. Just spotting today, barely. Last month I had only a 2 day period… this month it was 3 days, with a very light third day. (It’s usually 4 days long.) Very weird. Not sure what to think about that. I might mention it to the RE next time I’m in.

Day 2 of clomid, no side-effects still. Yay! I slept very well, except waking up at 3am with a bladder that felt fit to burst. Need to stop drinking so much milk… especially right before bed.

I feel so positive this month. I feel like we’re really doing something. Going for the bloodtest, taking the clomid, going in for an ultrasound… all gives me something to do instead of just waiting. Even if it all does diddly-squat in the long run, at least I feel useful and proactive. And it gives me something to count down to. “12 hours until my next clomid pill”, “1 week until my ultrasound.” A lot easier to wait for ovulation. I’m sure the two week wait will be excrutiating, though.

Well cycle day 5 is nearly over and still no side-effects. I think I feel slightly more alert than usual though. Is that a possible side-effect? LOL I’m also feeling sore muscles, but I’m willing to bet that one’s from all the lifting I did today at work. Oomph. I think I’ll be kind of glad to get pregnant and not be able to do the heavy lifting anymore. It’s hard work.

One week until my ultrasound. Here’s hoping for several really good looking follies!

My HSG is scheduled for this thursday the 30th at 2:15pm. Which means I need to drive myself in there and Den can’t come with me as he’ll be working. :( I really wish he could come with me. I’m a little nervous about the proceedure. I’m sure it’ll be fine though. I’ll be taking advil beforehand though. And bringing midol just in case.

This morning I woke up with my stomach area feeling very tight. Not quite bloated in the normal sense, but tight like it gets when it’s bloated. I’m not sure if maybe that was a sign of something working in me or not… maybe it’s my ovaries kicking into high-drive. Who knows. I’m really looking forward to next monday when I get my ultrasound… but I’m also feeling nervous that they’ll look and see something wrong, like way too many or nothing at all.

Last day of Clomid, still no side-effects. I’m either just lucky or… really unlucky.

Some interesting statistics on twins.

** Okay, this one makes me go “huh?” Since the average of having twins across the board is 1 in 100 or 3%, but 1 in 38 is lower at 2.6%. Nice.

Fun stuff. It’s a bit daunting to think that our chance of having twins could be pretty high.

Well that… sucked.

We got there and waited in the waiting room for a while. Then we got called by a nurse to go to a Radiology room. I got changed into a funny apron thing (but my shirt and socks were still on), and sat down on the big x-ray table. And we waited. I’m glad DH was there because we had to wait quite a while and he kept me occupied… although his way of occupying me was somewhat annoying. (He kept touching things, picking things up, and I was like, “For god’s sake, put that down!” Such a child sometimes, LOL) Finally our RE arrived – and it was the same RE that we had our consultation with. So yay. :)

Okay so she explains the process again to me, all is fine. I scoot my ass down to the end of the table, she puts in a speculum and swipes my cervix with a cloth thing to clean it – three times. I don’t like my cervix being swiped or pushed or anything. But, no worse than a pap. She inserts the catheter, that felt a little weird. Then she inflated it. That felt weirder. Like a little pressure. Then she removed the speculum – which felt very weird, because she had to disentangle it from the catheter and syringes, and that caused a bit of bouncing and tugging at my cervix, not so fun.

Then I got to watch on the screen as she injected the dye. The radiologist – an older German man – was there watching the screen and explaining things to me (in a thick German accent) and they were talking to each other about what they saw. The dye pooled up in my uterus, then my left tube quickly spilled out into my abdominal cavity. The right tube you could only see a little bit. And then the catheter popped out and there was spillage. Uh-oh.

So then the fun part – they decided to try it again, just to see if they could get a better view of my right tube. So I scootch down again, another speculum, another three swipes of cleaning stuff, another catheter inserted. Speculum removed again. And then she inflated the catheter balloon… but more this time than last (to make sure it stayed and didn’t slip out again). THAT hurt. Felt like a lot of pressure, little stabbing pain. After some fiddling with things they inserted more dye. I wasn’t feeling good, I looked over to Den and he took my hand and squeezed it reassuringly. I was trying to relax and just breathe but it hurt. The radiologist saw my look and asked if I was okay, I said it hurt a bit. So they tried to hurry a little more. So again they saw the dye through my left tube and pooling in my uterus, a little of my right tube. But the previous dye that had spilled into my abdominal cavity had settled on my right side by then in a little pocket, making it even harder to see my right tube. They had me roll a little to my left then my right and then stay there propped up on the side. But they ran out of dye in the syringe, even though they had a good angle. By then the pain was getting pretty bad so I think they decided to just leave it at that. Soon as they deflated the baloon and removed the catheter I felt much better, though still not great.

She said my left tube is great, and my right tube is probably just fine – she didn’t see a sign of blockage, just that the dye kept going to my left side instead of filling up my right. Stupid right tube! So we don’t know for sure that my right side is good, but she feels pretty confident that it’s fine.

If it had just been the first proceedure and it had worked right I would have walked away going, “Well that wasn’t very bad.” But that second time, arg. That hurt. Not like in a crying, freaking out kind of way, but definitely in a, “OW OW, get that thing out of me!!” kind of way. Not something I’d want to repeat.

I also asked her about my day 3 bloodwork and she said she couldn’t remember for sure (she didn’t have my chart with her) but she thinks it looked all fine. And she said if I wanted to know for sure I can give a call to the nurses and ask them about it. So I think I will in just a second after I relax a bit.

I feel very bloated and yick. I’m not in pain, but it feels more like the “remembrance” of pain… little aches and stuff in my stomach area. I do now know what is causing my cramps during my period though… it was the same kind of pain. Stupid cervix. ;)

I was thinking today about pain. I have always seen myself as quite a sissy, but you know… who really knows how much pain you are in? It’s all relative. It’s quite possible I tolerate pain more than I give myself credit for. I told Den what I was thinking and he nodded and agreed with me – he definitely thinks I underestimate myself. I have never had a broken bone or things like that… but I’ve also dealt with different kinds of pain. And it’s certainly true that how you handle it depends on the circumstances. I’ve gotten my ass kicked by animals on more than a few occassions: bit by the dog, attacked by the cat (and not in a playful manner, I had deep, deep gouges all up my leg). And it’s weird, because you know it happens, but it takes a few seconds to really sink in, to reach you – and even then you block it out until the situation is dealt with. It’s only afterwards that the true pain hits you.

While I was laying there I was thinking about what labor would feel like. Pain from the cervix being inflated is probably very similar to the pain of a head pressing down and dialating the cervix. And labor is probably much much worse. (Although I did see one singular comment on some forum saying that her HSG was the most painful thing she’d ever been through, including labor – but that is probably a very rare occurrance!) It made me wonder how well I’ll fare during labor – if I’ll ever be able to actually get through it without medication. I certainly don’t have any qualms about popping a bunch of midol during my period, or before and after my HSG. Maybe when I get into labor all my previous thoughts will go out the window because holy hell this hurts! But then again, maybe it’ll be very different because it’s not a random pain, it’s a purposeful pain… it’s because of the baby, for the baby. In the end not even people who have been through labor can tell you what it’ll feel like, because not only is it different for each person, it’s different for each experience – depending on your body and the baby’s position and all the combination of things that make each birth a unique experience.

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One completely random comment: When we walked into Radiology and the receptionist asked how she could help me I said, “I have an appointment for a hysterosalpingogram,” just like I’d been saying that word for years. I was so proud of myself. ;)