A little bit out of sequence, but this morning I woke up a little later than usual, went to pee, and found… AF. I’m not upset this month, since we didn’t really have a chance. On to Cycle #12.

Unfortunately I have to work today and I already feel the cramping and nausea coming on. Fun stuff.

Wicked, wicked cramps today. At work, no less. And before that was nausea and stomach pain. Took a midol this morning before work, took two ibprofen at work, I think cramps are starting to go away.

I’m really glad I’m not working tomorrow so I don’t have to worry about dragging myself out of bed. Sounds like a good day to just stay in bed… all day.

Wow. It’s really amazing what true connection can do for a marriage. DH and I have frequent disagreements, and I was getting very frustrated at not getting heard. We were both speaking so loudly we weren’t listening. The other day we finally sat down and talked about our mis-communications, openly and honestly.

And since then we’ve really been making an effort… at listening. At really saying what we mean, not just reacting. What a difference it makes! I walk away from our discussions feeling so empowered. And more than that, I feel really connected to him. I feel that really great emotion that had been lost among the mundane necessities of life. It feels great.

This marriage thing aint no walk in the park, that’s for sure. A lot of work, a lot of commitment. We just have to make sure we stay on the same side of the fence – working together instead of working against each other. Because life can get so stressful when you’re arguing with the person you live with! Especially when there’s only one bed. ;)

So I was considering doing a moses basket instead of a bassinet for a baby, since we’re short on space in the bedroom and house in general. Unfortunately the consensus on the boards is that a moses basket is just too unsecure with dogs loose, too easily knocked over, that’s not good. So here’s our options:

* The baby sleeps in his/her crib in her bedroom right from the start. This means no extra purchase, but don’t want to do that. We want the baby to be with us. (The crib, btw, won’t fit into the bedroom.)

* We put the PNP in the bedroom. This is a low-cost option because we’re getting a PNP anyways, but this means the PNP won’t be available in the living room where I want it – because it’s where I spend all day. I’m also not sure if a PNP would fit in the bedroom. For now this is an option.

* We buy a bassinet for the bedroom. They’re usually smaller so it’ll fit in the bedroom. But this is an extra $100+ purchase. Plus most cradles/bassinets are SO horrifically frilly they make me cringe. Here’s one I found that I actually like.

* We buy a co-sleeper and just don’t attach it to the bed but use it like a seperate portable crib. This is expensive. But they’re usually smallish like a cradle/bassinet, and they’re less frilly. But can still only be used for a couple of months.

* Last option, we find some kind of portable bed that we can put on a crate that we can secure (tie down?), that won’t tip over. Space saver, no more floor space taken up. But will be another extra cost only used for a couple of months.

Decisions, decisions.

Oh, and if you’re wondering why we don’t just get rid of the crates – we can’t. The crates are absolutely necessary for the safety of our home and our dogs (they’re used when we go out, and for Zeeke when Den isn’t home). If we get around to building the laundry room I want one crate could possibly go in there. But the living room is already a living room/dining room/office and it’ll be full of baby gear, and the second bedroom is going to be the baby’s room, no dogs allowed. We are extremely short of space in this house. :( (We plan to finish the basement at some point and add on a new master bedroom suite in about 10 years, but those both take cash we don’t have at the moment. So it’s a shuffle.)

Still no call from the doctor. Tomorrow I’m going to make Den call the doctor’s office and inquire as to when we’ll be getting the results… and to remind the doctor to forward them on to my OBGYN when they’re in.

Tonight I am cranky, and I want those damn results. I can’t even go into planning mode right now, not without knowing. We’re at a major crossroads and those results will tell me which way to aim.

I recieved a the book I ordered last week, Resolving Infertility. I heard from Sperm Palace Jesters that it was THE book for dealing with infertility. And I bought it used for less than $5, including shipping. :) I like having new things to read.