The Truth About Border Collies - very funny article. Snippets:

“Many casual dog owners have mistaken this for an ordinary dog and taken it home. They spend an average of six weeks in rehab getting over the experience.”

“[BC Owners] Have superior verbal skills that allow them to explain to the neighbors why all of their children are standing in a tight group, pinned against the house, under the watchful eye of their BC.”

“Every time a BC stares, there is a single message embedded in the gaze. In the case of my houseguest, the communication was clear: BALL, BALL, BALL, BALL, BALL.”

“BCs are happiest when they are assigned a job with their human partner. The challenge is that when they are left to their own devices, the BC reads the classified ads and goes out to get a job on her own.”

“In the agility ring, these dogs run with afterburners. The crowd hushes. They finish the course in half the allotted time. They compete with each other for tenths of a second. Competitors in these sports who do not have BCs both admire them and pray for a new federal law requiring that they all be sent back to Scotland.”

“Although the BC is bright, their instincts often overshadow their intelligence. Their instinct tells them to chase and control anything that moves. In order to get this job done, the BC will grip or bite moving objects. This is not good when the moving object is a child. Those who worship this dog have a solution. Teach the child not to run.”

“Want to be cool? Get a Border Collie. Want to move a sheep across your 3000 acre ranch? Get two Border Collies. Want to really compete at agility? Get a Border Collie. Want to have a job, a life, and your sanity? Get a Lab.”