I got the call today. It’s sunny out, I’m feeling relatively good – a little bloating, but nothing else to complain about. Den and I were joking around this morning… he said he won’t feel okay until we get the fertilization report and he knows his sperm did their job. I laughed and said I’m hoping for 15. All we need is 6 to go to blast stage, we’ll have plenty. An average of 75% of eggs retrieved will fertilize. 75% of 24 is a really good number.<\/p>\n
And this is one of those times when average means jack shit.<\/p>\n
The nurse said I feel good, I told her yes I do. No complaints. Then she said the results weren’t what they’d hoped. My heart sank. I’m thinking 5? 10?<\/p>\n
And she says, “One fertilized.”<\/p>\n
My brain stopped thinking. She kept talking. She said she’s sorry. She said that there was absolutely no indication that this would happen… nothing wrong with the sperm yesterday at all. She said the doctor is glad we went straight to IVF, as any IUI would be a waste of a lot of time for us.<\/p>\n
Of 24 eggs retrieved – a great response – we now have one single embryo sitting in a petri dish. If it makes it to saturday they’ll transfer it then, a day-3 transfer. If it makes it. There’s a pretty decent chance it’ll arrest before then.<\/p>\n
I’m just devestated beyond words. Somehow I think I’m more upset than if everything had gone perfectly and still not gotten pregnant. All those eggs were our safety net. If we fell on the wrong side of the 50\/50 this time, well, at least we’d have a bunch on ice. This time… whether or not we actually even make it to transfer, there will be no frozen egg transfers.<\/p>\n
I guess next time we’ll be doing ICSI. I keep telling myself that. We’re not out of the game yet. We have one more cycle paid for by insurance (though we’ll have to come up with the money for all the meds), and we can do ICSI and hopefully get past this fertilization problem.<\/p>\n
And we still have that one embryo. I’m hopeful and terrified all at once. This one could be our miracle baby. Or it could leave us with absolutely nothing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I got the call today. It’s sunny out, I’m feeling relatively good – a little bloating, but nothing else to complain about. Den and I were joking around this morning… he said he won’t feel okay until we get the fertilization report and he knows his sperm did their job. I laughed and said I’m […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[34,7],"class_list":["post-668","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-ivf1","tag-thoughts-and-emotions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/668","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=668"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/668\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=668"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=668"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=668"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}