After I got my BFN I went back to bed and fell asleep. Apparently my mind wasn’t in a great place, because I ended up having a crappy nightmare, something about hippos and Den’s brother getting eaten by a shark. I always love<\/i> getting hysterical in dreams, don’t you? Woke up and snuggled close to Den for a while. I usually get to work at around 11 – but due to staying in bed and not having to get up (because Den’s off work today) I’m still home and it’s 12:30. Thank goodness I have a job that doesn’t really care when I come in.<\/p>\n
I’m starting to understand why people throw in the towel after a few years of this. It’s taking over my life. At first it was a fun<\/i> obsession. Now it’s something that I just can’t get away from. All I think about is the next appointment, next test, next AF, next cycle. I’m starting to wonder what the hell clomid is really supposed to do. I mean, if I had 13 eggs before going on clomid, and none of them fertilized\/stuck, why would increasing the number of them help? There’s gotta be something more at work here. Endo? Poor egg quality? Hostile endometrium lining? I want to know, and I want them to fix it<\/i>, instead of rolling the wheel every month.<\/p>\n
The way I’m seeing it – this cycle’s due date would have been end of September, our next cycle – our last Clomid\/IUI cycle – will put us at end of October. For the two cycles after that I definitely don’t want to do IVF… so whether it’s taking a break or doing just clomid or what, I don’t really know. But then after that I think we’ll be looking to IVF for a 2008 baby. To me this gives me enough time to come to grips with the idea, gives the clomid a fighting chance of working, and by then I’ll be ready to take the plunge. IVF scares the crap out of me, just so you know. But damnit… two cycles of clomid down and I’m already getting fed up with it and ready to move on.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
After I got my BFN I went back to bed and fell asleep. Apparently my mind wasn’t in a great place, because I ended up having a crappy nightmare, something about hippos and Den’s brother getting eaten by a shark. I always love getting hysterical in dreams, don’t you? Woke up and snuggled close to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[19,76,7],"class_list":["post-483","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dreams","tag-ivf-3","tag-thoughts-and-emotions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/483","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=483"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/483\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=483"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=483"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=483"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}