I feel like I’ve lost my grounding. The arrival of the twins is making me emotional about several different things, as if one emotional disruptance makes everything else shaky, too. Not to mention that such events tend to involve the entire extended family, and dealing with a bunch of people at once is exhausting. Being social is exhausting, period.<\/p>\n
I have this huge urge to help somehow, but then so does everyone else, it seems. If anyone has any advice for what we can say to or do for parents of babies in the NICU please let me know. Den and I visited tonight and now I think we’re just going to pull back and give them space.<\/p>\n
I have to keep reminding myself that I have a baby. That may sound silly, seeing how I can barely manage to put her down, but after 4 years there’s a strong kneejerk reaction to babies, especially newborns in hospitals. My time there giving birth feels like a dream – well no wonder, seeing how I was in and out so quickly. It’s almost a shock to look down and see Kate’s pretty little face and remember, oh, oh yes. My heart is not so broken anymore. Then I smile and cuddle her a little bit closer.<\/p>\n
It’s strange because I have no concept of this in-between. I had one blissful pregnancy that ended in tragedy all at once, and one nervewracking pregnancy that finished simply anf easily with a healthy full-term baby. I never struggled with babies that are born but not with me, who may or may not be okay. My emotions fluctuate wildly. Some moments I’m in tears, then the wall slams down to protect myself and I feel very little at all. Letting anything in just brings everything bubbling up. I think it will take me some time to process it all.<\/p>\n
I think it is hardest because it’s family. If it were a best friend I could be right in there beside her; an aquaintance I could just let it be and focus on my own life. But family is so hard, always right there, but far enough away to make you feel completely useless.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I feel like I’ve lost my grounding. The arrival of the twins is making me emotional about several different things, as if one emotional disruptance makes everything else shaky, too. Not to mention that such events tend to involve the entire extended family, and dealing with a bunch of people at once is exhausting. Being […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3094","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3094","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3094"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3094\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3095,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3094\/revisions\/3095"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3094"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3094"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3094"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}