Unbeknownst to me we have ended up with a high-maintenance baby. Which is kind of funny because if you’d have asked me a week ago I would have shrugged and said she’s not easiest baby, but she’s certainly not the hardest. She isn’t colicky – there aren’t hours of screaming. She sleeps well at night as long as I sleep with her. She’s healthy, other than some gas. She sleeps easily and well enough.<\/p>\n
But the thing is, she’s very very picky<\/i>. I hear of others talking about their babies happily sleeping in their carseat or bouncer, of playtime and tummy time spent delighting on the playmat. I hear of babies now going 3-4 hours between feeds and sleeping 8 hours in a stretch at night happily swaddled. Ha ha. Ha.<\/p>\n
She does a lot of screaming, and we really thought it was gas. We dutifully give her many doses of mylicon every day in the hopes that it will help. But the thing I’ve noticed is that the screaming is both random and quickly quelled by picking her up, giving her her pacifier, and shushing her – or, failing that, nursing her. She’ll be screaming an ear-piercing scream moments before smiling at mama after I pick her up. I have learned when to expect the screaming. The list includes – but is not limited to – the following: when she wakes up, when she’s done eating, when she’s put down, when she’s picked up wrong, when she’s put in her swing (if she’s not tired and doesn’t have her pacifier), when she’s put in a carrier (and she’s not tired and doesn’t have her pacifier), when the person holding her is standing still… and so on and so forth. She’s happy as a clam when she has what she wants, which usually means falling asleep on mommy or daddy’s chests while we walk or rock. If she doesn’t have it? Hissyfit.<\/p>\n
Worse is when I can’t immediately respond, such as when we’re standing in a store or in the car – if she wants to nurse I have to stop what I’m doing, unbuckle her from whatever she’s in, find a place to sit down, then nurse. And there’s no predicting it, either. She’ll be asleep in a carrier and then open her eyes, yawn, look around, and start screaming, stretching her legs as if to pop out the top of the carrier, and arching her back. So now suddenly out of nowhere I have a screaming beast attached to my chest in place of the sweet, peacefully sleeping child that was there 10 seconds ago and I’m speed walking to the mother’s room.<\/p>\n
I’ve been having some serious mommy doubt the last few days. I’m happy to attachment-parent, I believe in responding immediately to a baby’s needs. Everything I’ve read has talked about responding to their first cues, before they start crying. Well I’m not doing that. In fact I’m not sure it’s physically possible. Kate gives maybe a few grunts before crying, and very quickly escalates to full out screaming, often before I can even reach her, much less figure out what it is that she wants. So I kept thinking What am I doing wrong?<\/i><\/p>\n