April 5th is almost over. That was his due date, 2 years ago. It’s a funny thing, that due date… he probably would not have been born on that particular day, but it’s a day etched in our calendar forever. It was the alternative – the fork that led to the light. Instead he was born a month early, silent. He should not have been a dead March baby; he should have been a live April one.<\/p>\n
But like many other days, this one passed simply, with barely a whisper between Denis and I as we remembered. It was acknowledged. That was enough.<\/p>\n
Looming overhead are the next 3 weeks. 3 weeks<\/i>, I chant, 3 more weeks<\/i>. Until I hit 36 weeks, until I pass that gestation when he died. It’s strange, this mental space I live in. It’s not fear, not exactly. It’s not buzzing with energy. It’s just this very quiet in-between, a place of held breaths and whispered words. Every day I feel Kate squirm and kick in my belly I smile and pat her gently, saying ever so quietly to myself, Still alive. That’s good.<\/i> It seems so ridiculous, but yet there it is. She’s alive, so it’s a good day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
April 5th is almost over. That was his due date, 2 years ago. It’s a funny thing, that due date… he probably would not have been born on that particular day, but it’s a day etched in our calendar forever. It was the alternative – the fork that led to the light. Instead he was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[447],"class_list":["post-2830","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-due-date"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2830","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2830"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2830\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2831,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2830\/revisions\/2831"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2830"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2830"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2830"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}