Another person on another forum (thankfully not someone I know very well at all) posted that they’re pregnant. I’ve definitely reached the stage where, instead of thinking, “BABIES! YAY!!” I wince and immediately think, “Why them, and not me?” This journey just gets harder and harder.<\/p>\n
From The Mother of All Pregnancy Books:<\/p>\n
Someone posted this to give us hope, but it’s making me sadder instead. Why are we one of the statistical anomolies? (I almost wrote “why am I”, but there’s two of us in this, two bodies contributing that may have unknown problems.) Granted, okay, average is the balance between the small and the large numbers – with all the people my age who are getting pregnant in 3 months or less, there’s got to be some who take longer than 5 months in order for the numbers to balance. Maybe I’m one of those. But those probabilities make me think that if we aren’t conceiving still, that something’s more than likely wrong. And that worries me. I dont like not knowing. Den told me yesterday that I’ll feel better after his SA is done – at least then we’ll know. He even said he might feel better if they DO find something wrong, because then we can start fixing it instead of just sitting around wondering.<\/p>\n
But I have to be careful with him, he takes this very personally – what man doesn’t? He’s sure at this point that he has no sperm, his men are broken, there’s something horribly wrong with him, etc etc. So I really try to be positive and sensitive. I told him all about how there are lots of minor problems that can be easily fixed (like a simple surgery to fix a veriocele) or gotten around (like IUI to address low sperm count). I try to emphasise that it’s very rare that men have a huge, unfixable<\/i> problem.<\/p>\n
Sometimes I wonder how he feels about me posting the details about his equipment all over the internet. Then I think, he knows this blog is here, he just chooses not to read it; and what he doesn’t know can’t hurt him. He knows how I am. He has yet to throw a fit. I also haven’t specifically mentioned that I’ve posted the date of his SA and will be posting all the results. We’ll deal with that when we come to it, right? ;)<\/p>\n
One other thing – I feel a smidge of guilt, but I am hoping, praying (well if I was religious I’d pray) that IF something is wrong with us, that it be something simple, or it be with HIM. I know the odds are not in my favor on that one. But I am really, really going to have to seriously evaluate everything if we get to the point of needing a lap or any kind of surgery. Because I am terrified<\/i>. The thought of someone cutting me open, in any way, shape or form, makes me feel a little queasy and a lot panicked. I feel the same about a c-section, but at least at that point I’d be wanting the baby out<\/i> and have more concern for him\/her than me. But for anything else I don’t have that luxury. So please, please<\/i>, let this fix itself. Let me get pregnant on my own.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Another person on another forum (thankfully not someone I know very well at all) posted that they’re pregnant. I’ve definitely reached the stage where, instead of thinking, “BABIES! YAY!!” I wince and immediately think, “Why them, and not me?” This journey just gets harder and harder. From The Mother of All Pregnancy Books: Early 20s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[10,16,7],"class_list":["post-282","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-den-and-me","tag-fertility","tag-thoughts-and-emotions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/282","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=282"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/282\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=282"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=282"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=282"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}