During the day when I feel a little kick I will frequently say, “Oh! She’s awake!” What I really mean – but don’t say – is, “Oh good, she’s still alive!” (I did that once and it garnered a very strange look from a co-worker.)<\/p>\n
No, I never did end up getting a doppler. I have not ruled it out, if I feel I need one, but so far her little kicks during the day have been enough to keep me calm and reassured. If I hadn’t started feeling movement when I did I probably would have needed the extra help. I take it day by day, and so far this little one is very good at keeping mommy informed.<\/p>\n
I think about how hard this must be on the other expectant parent – the one not carrying the baby, not feeling the kicks and wiggles and rolls. It is such a huge amount of trust placed in me, the carrier of this baby. He asks me how I am feeling, what the baby is doing. I do my best to tell him, I always have – and I think he appreciates how in-tune I am with my body. But still, it is just me telling him, me feeling movement, me sleeping peacefully with this tiny being cradled inside. It is this closeness, this familiarity with the baby and constant check-ins that keeps me sane. How does he get through?<\/p>\n
I can now see little kicks make my belly jump – at least once in a while, if she’s kicking the right spot, at the right time. But I haven’t even called Den over to look, and not just because it’s so infrequent you could stare for 15 minutes (going slightly cross-eyed) and not see anything. I can see my pulse on my belly, it’s the weirdest thing; it twitches along with my heartbeat. I can tell which is which, I can feel that beat inside me and easily pick out the baby’s kicks from the rhythm. But the husband? Not so much. Between that pulse and my breathing it is hard enough for him to feel a kick (which has the same we-could-be-here-a-while wait).<\/p>\n
It feels less strange now that I feel her moving around – I think it weirded me out a lot more to know that there was this living, moving creature inside me but I couldn’t see or feel it at all. She is starting to get a personality to me now. As my belly is growing into its skin once again, so am I mentally growing into my pregnant self again. I find myself settling comfortably here, with fondness. I look in the mirror more now. I have found myself again. I am whole again – at least physically.<\/p>\n
I am the keeper of this special little secret. It is through me that she experiences the world – and through me that the world experiences her.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
During the day when I feel a little kick I will frequently say, “Oh! She’s awake!” What I really mean – but don’t say – is, “Oh good, she’s still alive!” (I did that once and it garnered a very strange look from a co-worker.) No, I never did end up getting a doppler. I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[389,368,310],"class_list":["post-2624","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-body-image","tag-movement","tag-pregnancy-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2624","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2624"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2624\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2625,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2624\/revisions\/2625"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2624"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2624"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2624"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}