[8w1d]<\/p>\n
Today I have been in just a horribly pissy mood. More bleeding. I am so done with this shit.<\/p>\n
After the bleeding incident 3 weeks ago when I had the first ultrasound, I thought to myself, okay, so red blood is okay. I didn’t have any more episodes quite like that (until today), but I’d spot just a little bit every three days or so – just enough to think maybe it wouldn’t happen again, then I’d wake up to more spotting. But, I didn’t panic – we’ve seen the heartbeat now, it’s been quite a while since this spotting thing started and everything is still good, so okay, I can accept this. I’m not happy<\/i> about it, but I can expect it as how things will go this time.<\/p>\n
Then today. Lunchtime. I’m out getting my food and I can feel it. I just think to myself, “Self, that’s just mucous, it’s fine.” Go to the bathroom. NOT mucous. Blood. And just in case you think I’m a total pansy (which I am, but anyways), I mean enough blood to soak my panty liner with a clot in it. Even then, I take a deep breath. No panicking. This happened before… sort of. Except this is more, and there’s a clot. So I called the nurse’s line and calmly left a message (although I think I added, “I’m just really frustrated with this!”). I reviewed my options in my head: I know they’ll probably tell me to come in to get another ultrasound if I want it, but we’re really short-staffed today and I honestly really don’t want to go in if it’s just going to stop again. I just had an ultrasound yesterday, for crying out loud. Everything was – and probably still is – fine. But you know, for a few hours there I’m wondering, will it stop?<\/p>\n
It took a few hours for the nurse to call me back, and I was checking the state of things about every fifteen minutes. Of course shortly after the incident my bowels decided to move, I knew that wasn’t going to help stop the bleeding at all (I was right). But it certainly didn’t get worse. I didn’t have cramping (other than the gas bubbles that are ever-present). And it did seem to be trailing off. So when the nurse called I told her I’ll see how things go tonight and go in in the morning if I feel the need to.<\/p>\n
At this point I’m just spotting leftovers, no new bleeding or anything. I’ve spent the entire afternoon going through my last day to see if anything I did caused it. Maybe the light lifting at work yesterday? Maybe scraping the ice from my windshield? Maybe it was just the ultrasound itself? I don’t know. I don’t fucking know. I know it wasn’t “stress” – yesterday was about as good as I’ve felt in a month, happy and reassured and hadn’t spotted in days, nothing to stress about. It stopped and that’s good, I’m happy with that, I’m relieved. I know from past experience that bleeding does not mean immediate miscarriage. I know that just yesterday my baby was perfectly fine.<\/p>\n
I am just so irritated with the whole damn thing. I don’t know why my body is doing this, but it feels like some perverse method of torture.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
[8w1d] Today I have been in just a horribly pissy mood. More bleeding. I am so done with this shit. After the bleeding incident 3 weeks ago when I had the first ultrasound, I thought to myself, okay, so red blood is okay. I didn’t have any more episodes quite like that (until today), but […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[110,310],"class_list":["post-2428","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-bleeding","tag-pregnancy-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2428","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2428"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2428\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2429,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2428\/revisions\/2429"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2428"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2428"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2428"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}