I am just so relieved. Two days ago we found a considerably sized lump on Zeeke’s jaw. It wasn’t soft and squishy like a fat deposit, but it seemed to appear out of nowhere. So today Den took him off to the vet’s to get it looked at. This dog has had so many different things wrong with him (unlike my other dogs, who have only ever had to go to the vet for vaccines and spay), and I kept thinking, shit, what if it’s a tumor. My brother’s dog died of cancer a year and a half ago. Even though Zeeke is a major asshole 90% of the time, he’s a part of our family. I was so happy when Den came home, gave me the paperwork, and told me that the vet took a sample of the lump and found a bunch of bacteria and white blood cells… that means infection, not tumor. We just have to tuck some meds in peanut butter for 2 weeks and he should be fine.<\/p>\n
::<\/p>\n
Today I had brown spotting in the morning, nothing the rest of the day. I’ve started feeling… twinges. In my cervix. I couldn’t even call them cramps, just like little tweaks. But I don’t like it.<\/p>\n
The anxiety is starting to creep back in. I’m most nervous about tomorrow. I know it makes no logical sense that anything would happen on any kind of predictable timeline, but last week Thursday I had the bleeding. I just wish I could stay home in bed all day. I don’t like having to work, to be active on my feet. I’m just… nervous. Earlier this week I was feeling really good and thinking it would be no problem to get to Monday, but now I feel like I might not get there without another meltdown.<\/p>\n
I realize I’m not going to feel okay until we see the heartbeat. And even then I think the relief is only going to last about a week. I’m slowly coming to accept that, but it makes me angry that I have to live in these little short bursts of fear and temporary well-being.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I am just so relieved. Two days ago we found a considerably sized lump on Zeeke’s jaw. It wasn’t soft and squishy like a fat deposit, but it seemed to appear out of nowhere. So today Den took him off to the vet’s to get it looked at. This dog has had so many different […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[178,310,258],"class_list":["post-2390","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-anxiety","tag-pregnancy-2","tag-zeeke"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2390","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2390"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2390\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2391,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2390\/revisions\/2391"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2390"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2390"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2390"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}