It is 11:30 at night and I sit here in silence and feel overwhelmed, dejected, alone. I want to be hopeful, but not sure if I should be. Does it help to be jaded? Does it hurt less to expect the worst?<\/p>\n
You may think I’m talking about pregnancy, but I’m not.<\/p>\n
I lay my head down on my desk and stare at the floor – the deeply pitted floor that so badly needs to be refinished, not sure I realized it was quite that bad – and sigh. I need to disconnect myself. I need to find my selfishness and let the rest go. I do what I can, but I feel everything so damn much. I have wished so many times before for a thicker skin, but I am what I am.<\/p>\n
I am an idealist, through and through. I want the best for everyone. I want to believe in everyone. I want to find a middle ground and understand.<\/p>\n
I want to see goodness in this world, and sometimes there’s just not enough of it.<\/p>\n
I am angry at myself that I let others make me feel this way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It is 11:30 at night and I sit here in silence and feel overwhelmed, dejected, alone. I want to be hopeful, but not sure if I should be. Does it help to be jaded? Does it hurt less to expect the worst? You may think I’m talking about pregnancy, but I’m not. I lay my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[306],"class_list":["post-2263","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-emotions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2263","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2263"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2263\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2264,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2263\/revisions\/2264"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2263"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2263"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2263"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}