My ultrasound is tomorrow morning and I feel a lot calmer than I expected to. I’m resigned to What Is, but not in a negative way. I think I’m learning how to let go a little – to just let the possibilities be until life shows you what path it’s on. Tomorrow isn’t THE answer, but the first of many. I have hope – but it’s a very reserved hope.<\/p>\n
::<\/p>\n
Today I was describing to my therapist what my new mondays consist of, since I am not working at a client’s office like I had been for months. I set my alarm so I won’t sleep all day, I get dressed, I eat, I shower, then I set my laptop up in my light, bright living room and get caught up on emails, phone calls, friends. Then I go to work for a couple of hours to get caught up and set my to-do list for the next day. And then I have my acupuncture appointment before going home and relaxing. I told her how much I love it, how I start my week with a deep breath, start on the right foot.<\/p>\n
“Natalie,” she said to me, “I think you’ve learned how to relax!”<\/p>\n
My next thing to think about is how to extend my routine and feeling of peace through the darker months, when I have weeks of no sunshine to bask in. This is my first step, and an important one, but now I need to figure out how to achieve it when the conditions aren’t perfectly ideal. And that has always been the hard part.<\/p>\n
::<\/p>\n
I am so damn happy to be off the pill. Everyone says how horrible lupron is – I don’t notice the lupron! But the birth control… oh my. I have felt like a veil was lifted from my head since I stopped those pills. I felt so angry, so frustrated for no reason. Now I feel so much less burdened. I feel like myself again.<\/p>\n
::<\/p>\n
I called my acupuncturist’s new office and booked a massage with the [male] massage therapist for Saturday. So Saturday I have work, then an hour of acupuncture, than an hour massage. Awesome. I hope this massage therapist works well for me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My ultrasound is tomorrow morning and I feel a lot calmer than I expected to. I’m resigned to What Is, but not in a negative way. I think I’m learning how to let go a little – to just let the possibilities be until life shows you what path it’s on. Tomorrow isn’t THE answer, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[129,208,284,287,130],"class_list":["post-2200","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-bcp","tag-ivf-5","tag-massage","tag-relaxing","tag-therapy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2200","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2200"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2200\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2202,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2200\/revisions\/2202"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2200"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2200"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2200"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}