I was fine with the news. It sucked, but honestly it’s kind of expected. Did I REALLY think I could get pregnant two cycles in a row? Did I REALLY think my luck was that good? So the beta confirmed that I am indeed NOT pregnant, as I expected.<\/p>\n
What I did NOT expect, however, was for them to tell me that the lab is closing down next month, so I’ll have to sit out a cycle. The lab re-opens on August 15… so that’s when I can start my stims cycle. Two months of doing NOTHING! Two months of sitting around just waiting. Another two months of being not pregnant. And that is when I started feeling hazy and angry and wanting to throw my cell phone out my car window. (Which I would never do because it is pink and I love it – but, you know, I just wanted some kind of handy projectile to shatter on the highway.)<\/p>\n
The negatives, I can handle. The doing it all over again, I can handle. The mockery that is my “luck,” I can handle. But I cannot handle waiting.<\/i> The entire summer, wasting my time. Another three months from this point in time that I may (or may not) be pregnant. Hasn’t this gone on long enough? Haven’t I waited long enough?<\/p>\n
But like I said to Kel, there’s nothing to do. It would be different if we had done 4 fresh + 2 frozen cycles and gotten absolutely nothing, then I’d be ready to move on to donor eggs. But this? We know it works!!<\/i> I had a beautiful baby boy. I got pregnant again, just in the wrong spot. It’s so fucking close! It’s possible, it’s achievable. It’s just a question of how long do we have to wait for it.<\/i><\/p>\n
Everyone says, you need to take some time off. To relax. I say, bullshit. What I need is to get pregnant, and sitting around doing nothing is NOT going to get me pregnant. I have obstinate eggs and only one tube – and I gave up hope of ever getting pregnant naturally long before I lost that tube. Sane people don’t bank on winning the lottery – especially people who tend to lose every lottery they have ever entered… and some they didn’t. Time off only serves to make me pissed off and frustrated. Trust me, I am pissed off and frustrated enough as it is.<\/p>\n
But there is nothing to do but waste my entire summer doing NOTHING. It even looks like it’s going to be a crappy fucking summer, weather-wise… mid-June and we’ve had a week of rain and are looking at another one. I feel like I’m back in Vancouver (which does not in any way inspire a happy nostalgic feeling). Predictions do not show a happy sunny warm summer.<\/p>\n
I guess there are two very minor positives that come out of this delay (the kind that I really don’t care about, but it’s something I guess): I don’t have to worry about taking more days off work mid-summer when everyone’s on vacation; and my next cycle’s due date won’t be in April. Oh, and I’m going to visit Kel… just have to figure out when.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I was fine with the news. It sucked, but honestly it’s kind of expected. Did I REALLY think I could get pregnant two cycles in a row? Did I REALLY think my luck was that good? So the beta confirmed that I am indeed NOT pregnant, as I expected. What I did NOT expect, however, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[207,206,123,204,181],"class_list":["post-2010","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-delays","tag-failure","tag-fet2","tag-testing","tag-waiting"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2010","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2010"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2010\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2012,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2010\/revisions\/2012"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2010"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2010"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2010"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}